


The Inferno

by acciosnapes



Category: Abraham Ford - Fandom, Abraham’s Army, Andrew Lincoln - Fandom, Hollywood - Fandom, Jeffrey Dean Morgan - Fandom, Telivision Shows, The Walking Dead, Twd - Fandom, negan’s army
Genre: Action, Adventure, Alexandria - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Canon, Canon Divergent, Comfort, Cussing, Daddy Kink, Deviates From Canon, Drama, F/M, Family, Fandom, Fighting, Fluffy, Imagines, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Story, Love Triangle, OC, Original Character - Freeform, Original Story - Freeform, Post Apocalypse, Prefrences, Reader Insert, Running, Sexual Content, Sexual Experience, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmates, Tension, Threesome, Unrequited, Violence, Walkers, Zombies, age gap, couples, head canon, old young, plus size, relationships, the kingdom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-20 06:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciosnapes/pseuds/acciosnapes
Summary: (F/N) used to be in love with a man named Abraham Ford, a charming, kind, strong fellow from the heart of Texas. Before the apocalypse started, your dad Rick Grimes was his closest friend, always inviting him over on football sunday, and always going over to his house for backyard summer barbecues. When the dead invaded, you were separated from your family and the man you so deeply loved. Your journey took you far and wide, and you met many people. All of them eventually left, or met an untimely death. But the one man you met who took your world by storm was a man named Negan. You watched him build an empire, you watched him create something of himself in the midst of this chaos. And right beside him was you, his right hand woman. You became heartless as he did too, fighting and killing without mercy. Until you stumble across a few very familiar faces you hadn’t seen in quite sometime.





	1. Chapter One- Secret Drawer

The night was young. 

Silence was all around you. Only crickets were chirping. 

Your footsteps were heavy as they carried you down the pavement, rain falling down in heavy troves. Your head of (h/c) hair was only protected by a semi thick sweatshirt hoodie, skin chilled to the bone, teeth chattering behind chapped lips. 

Ahead of you there was nothingness. Woods aligning the muddy back road surrounding you, the sack of supplies tossed over your shoulder. All you could feel was anger. Anger and coldness. Your leader had sent you to an outpost down the road from the Sanctuary, the place you lived, to fetch some ammo and batteries, because he was running out. But it was cold, and it was dark. And if there was one thing you hated, it was the dark. When you couldn’t see in front of you, and you didn’t know if a geek was gonna come out from behind a bush and attack you, or if one was gonna try and bite your face off. Death was your biggest fear, but in this world, you were absolutely sure it was everyones. 

What seemed like hours of walking was soon met by the lights of the Sanctuary, and you walked into the gates and shut them tightly behind you. The welcoming sound of the fuckers tied to the walls, where the people Negan held hostage harvested them, greeted you with moans and groans of deadly agony. You walked to the front doors, pushing them open. Inside was a market. People lined the big warehouse floor with rooms and beds and produce to sell, some people drinking together, others talking together. 

“Negan? Where the hell is Negan?” You snarled, looking around the room slowly. 

A man named Dwight looked a tall you. “In his room. But I-I wouldn’t bother him. He’s got a pretty girl with him-“ 

“Does it look like I really fucking care, Dwight? If you look into my eyes, do you see any shits that I’m willing to fucking give?! I asked for Negan's location. Not his entire fucking backstory.” You snapped, your jaw clenching tightly. 

Your feet stomping bitterly against the stairs echoed throughout the Sanctuary, until you found your way down the hall, towards his room. You burst open, stopping the current session that played out in front of your eyes. A naked girl was sitting on his lap, kissing his puckered lips as she grinded against his lap, her hands tugging his hair. Speaking of hair, you grabbed hers, yanking her off of him. 

Fire flooded into Negan’s eyes and his head snapped towards you, before a velvety chuckle left his lips, and he shook his head slowly. “If you were anybody else, Lucille would’ve killed you by now.” 

“Good thing I’m not.” You snarled, eyes narrowing. 

“Now what’s got your panties in a twist, Honey?” He used the familiar pet name, and you rolled your (e/c) eyes aggravatedly. 

“Flattery won’t get you out of this hell fire.” 

“Excuse me?” The naked girl asked softly. But you both ignored her. 

“Well then, what will? My charming looks?” Negan snickered. 

“You sent me out there alone! It’s winter, it’s raining, and it’s dark as a fucking cave out there! All for what? For batteries to a stupid fucking game controller, and ammo. Ammo for what? We have no threats near us!” You screamed. 

“Well excuse me Little Miss Sunshine!” Negan stood up, his jaw clenching as he leaned back a bit. “But you’re the only goddamn bitch I trust in this joint to go get me shit without stealing!” 

“Then if that’s the case, maybe you should hire more trust worthy people!” 

“Umm...excuse me?” The girl asked again shyly, but you both ignored her once more. 

“Don’t tell me how to run this place!” 

“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have a place to run!” Negan screamed loud before, but you could scream even louder. 

“Honey, I’m the fucking top dog-“ 

“Then what does that make me?!” 

“The top fucking bitch!” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Well that’s how you’re acting!” Negan shouted. 

“Excuse me?” 

Both of your heads snapped towards the girl who was covering herself up. “WHAT?!” You both screamed in unison, and tears began to fill her eyes. 

“Damn, uh, I’ll have to cut this short, Rebecca. That doesn’t mean you aren’t my smokin’ hot wife anymore. I just, you know, busy.” Negan tossed her her dress and she slid it on, waddling out of the room in tears. He sighed, looking at you slowly. His eyes were softer now, yet they still held anger. “Look, I’m sorry Honey. I thought you didn’t have a problem with it.” 

“Yeah well I did.” You muttered stubbornly. Negan opened up his arms, and you hesitantly made your way into them. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch, Negan. I’ve just been on edge lately.”

“Really? You do a really good job at hiding it.” 

“Ha ha, look at you, Mr.Comedian. Looks like Robin Williams showed up!” You rolled your eyes, nonetheless smiling. 

“Tell you what, I’ll make it up to you with something big. It’s been a secret, but next week, I promise you you’ll find out.” 

“Oh yeah? What is it?” You asked through a grin. 

“You’ll just have to wait until next week.” 

“Can you give me a hint?” You asked softly, smiling up at him. 

“We found another group. A whole buncha’ pussies and shit, you know? Now their leader, this fuckin’ prick, killed a bunch of our men at one of our outposts. And we gotta teach them a lesson. We’re taking over their camp, this pussy ass village thing called Alexandria. And I’m gonna kill one of their people, but if you want to-“ 

“If I want to?” You cut him off with a scoff. 

Negan smirked, nodding. “But if you want to, you can do the honors.” 

“With Lucille and everything?” You asked excitedly. 

“It wouldn’t be a proper pants pissin’ party without good ole’ Lucille, now would it?” 

You nodded in agreement, smirking lightly. “Damn straight.” 

“Now go get off to bed, Honey. We gotta wake up early tomorrow. Big day at the Hilltop.” 

You giggled a bit, smirking. “I get to mess around with Gabriel, right?” 

“Now of course you do. You are my best girl.” 

A little blush dusted your cheeks, and you grinned. “Night, Negan.” 

“Night, (F/N).” 

“Oh, and Negan?” You turned as you went to leave his room, glancing behind your shoulder. 

“Hmm?” He hummed out as he threw on a shirt. 

“Sorry for killing your boner.” You snickered, closing the door behind you and leaving the room. 

You made your way back down to the floor level, walking around the vendors and what not. “You have anymore of that sweet tea, Eugenia?” You asked softly, looking at the only person you were actually nice to in this whole joint. She was an older woman named Eugenia, who lost all of her grandchildren and children when it all broke out. Eugenia said you reminded her of her daughter, a pretty girl named Clarissa who was a lawyer before all hell broke lose. You always took it as a compliment, because you knew she meant it as one. 

“For you? Always.” She smiled a grandmotherly smile, handing you a mason jar full of the amber colored liquid. 

“Here.” You handed her a bag of sunflower seeds from your personal rations as payment, because you knew how much she loved them, and left her with a little smile and a wave. 

You made your way back to your room, which you made yourself feel at home in. A tv was in the corner with a DVD player and an Atari, a fan on the window, little boxed action figures lining the window seal. Around your walls were movie posters, advertising Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Starwars- anything you could find while out scavaging with Negan and his men. You sat down on the edge of your bed with a soft hum, looking to make sure your door was locked while you quietly opened your secret drawer. 

Inside your secret drawer were quite a few different things. A small baggy of weed you had found while patting down a dead geek, a dildo your friend Simon had given you as a gag gift a few years ago (which you used religiously), some packs of gum, a few candy bars, a thick wad of money in case the world ever got back on its feet, and lastly- a polaroid album stuffed way in the back. 

That polaroid album held your secrets, your memories, your adventures. That polaroid album held who you were before this world ensued. 

You opened it, looking through the lamenated pages quietly. The very first page was a picture of you with your little brother, Carl. He had a big, toothy grin, holding up a birthday cake for his eighth birthday- which was also the week you had gotten your polaroid camera for your sweet sixteen. Beneath it was a picture of your dad Rick, and your mom Lori, both holding beers and smiling widely. Another was of your aunt, your cousins, a few more of your dogs, some random ones of flowers. But then, the last pages of the album, were dedicated to one person, and one person only. 

Most of the pictures were taken with his permission, but some were candids, others were sneaked. Your favorite one was labeled “My Heart”. It pictured the red headed man named Abraham Ford standing proudly in his Army uniform, a slow burning cigar in his lips with his eyes sparkling full of pride. Beside it was a picture taped in labeled “Big Red”. There he sat, a bucket hat on and sunscreen on his nose, a funny costume he wore to your sixteenth party, a themed Luau, a big smile flashing behind his mustache. There was another of him taking a drink of beer, another one of him hugging you that was taken by your mom, another one of him holding your hand as you walked to your last sixteenth birthday present with a blindfold on- a shining new car. A car you never got to drive. 

You hadn’t noticed the tears flooding into your eyes. You hadn’t noticed the hurt aching in your heart as you gasped for air. Pulling yourself away from these memories, you stuffed your album into the drawer once again, sinking into the mattress with an irreplaceable hole forming into your heart.


	2. Chapter Two- Taking Half

The fancy couch against the delicately embroidered wall lay barren and empty, Negan’s men taking what they wanted from the leader of this safe-haven called the Hilltop. You took interest in said fancy couch, which oddly reminded you of the one Rose laid on in Titanic. You snickered, sliding down into a reclining nude position, still peeling the apple peel with the sharp blade of your knife. 

“Aye, Simon?” You looked up at the man ordering people around, who looked at you inquisitively. 

“What?” 

“Paint me like one of your French girls, why dontcha?” 

“Don’t you have shit to be doing?” Simon laughed, rolling his eyes in humorous aggravation. 

“Nah. I’d much rather be bothering you. And this apple...this sweet, sweet honey crisp. Begging for my attention.” You held it up in the air dramatically as if your hand were a pedestal, before Simon smacked it from your grasp. “Hey!” You snapped. 

“Get to work, young grasshopper.” He chuckled, waving you away from the living room. 

“Alright...but we’re taking that couch!” 

You roamed around the house, humming out softly as you admired the beautiful painted artwork hanging around the hallways. “Hey, you? Apostle paul looking ass.” You pointed to a man with long blonde hair, then to a framed painting on the wall. 

“I prefer to be called Jesus.” He gave you a little grin. The light in his eyes was startling. His pretty blue eyes had not yet been touched by the grief and the pain that this world was bringing. Yet it had hit you full on as if you were waiting on the tracks for a train. 

A scoff escaped you, but the stupid joke made your lips twitch none the less. “Alright, Jesus, take this painting downstairs with the rest of the stuff. I like it.” 

“I don’t think Gabriel wants the paintings taken-“ 

“And what the hell do you think Gabriel’s gonna do about it, church boy?” You snapped at him, tilting your head to the side as your eyes narrowed dangerously close. “He doesn’t even know how to hold a gun the right way. I said take the painting. So take. The. Fucking. Painting.” Your teeth were gritted now, and your deadly stare made the man who called himself Jesus a little uncomfortable, so he grabbed the painting, and walked down the stairs. 

You roamed around some more, finding yourself in Gabriel’s room. You rummaged through the closets, finding a box in the very back. Pulling it out, you heard the clattering of liquor bottles. 

“Jackpot.” You whispered to yourself, pulling out a few bottles of random stuff. There was gin, scotch and bourbon, all finely aged and unopened. 

Carrying them downstairs, you put it in yours and Negans truckload of things, whistling at Simon. “Come on, headass! We gotta get going. Get everybody else.” You shouted over the engine of the truck starting, taking a seat at the front passengers seat side. 

Simon climbed in, and a few more Saviors climbed into the back as well. “Find anything good?” He asked as he began to drive. 

“Yep.” You popped the ‘P’, looking out the window. “Some gin, bourbon, scotch-“ 

“Negan doesn’t like it when you drink.” 

“And I didn’t like it when Negan married a bunch of women. You can’t win ‘em all, Simon.” You snorted. “Anyway, I also found this cool painting I’m putting in my room, a few little trinkets here and there. Met a guy who calls himself Jesus, he’s okay.” 

“Jesus was never my favorite guy.” Simon glanced at you as he turned down the road, snickering. 

“Yeah, mine either.” Dwight called from the backseat. 

“Okay, let’s all agree the original Jesus was sort of the worst. But the Hilltops Jesus is good. He follows orders.” You explained, shrugging a bit. Everyone laughed at that. 

“We made a good run today.” Someone in the back commented. 

“Boss man’ll be happy.” 

“Hopefully.” You muttered. 

“And what do you mean by that?” Simon asked curiously. 

“That man has a thirst that can’t be quenched. Power, sex, items- he needs it all or he won’t ever be satisfied.” You explained yourself, resting your head back on the seat. “Now everybody shut the hell up, I’m taking a nap.”

The drive back to the Sanctuary was always long and boring, and you always fell asleep on the way there and back. By the time you arrived it was nightfall, and you were ready to turn in for the evening. You made your rounds through some of the vendors, stoping at Eugenia’s booth to talk to her. “Are you doing okay? Is everything alright?” You asked softly, smiling as you gently grabbed her hand. “Oh yes, don’t worry about me darlin’.” Eugenia cooed, smiling up at you happily. “Here’s some sweet tea, and I also made some biscuits too.” “And as payment, I have more sunflower seeds.” Eugenia smiled with happiness, and your heart swelled with pride. You loved Eugenia. She was like a grandmother to you, and when you had found her all alone, a mess in her retirement home, you immediately took her in. You were just happy she was still here with you, to be honest. You kissed her cheek and handed her the sunflower seeds, walking up to your room as you hummed. Turning down to grab your toothbrush, you groaned when you remembered you had to get something from the supply closet. You tossed on new clothes, jogging out of your room. 

“Hey, Honey?” Negan caught you in the hallway as you walked back to your room, gently grasping your bicep. 

“Hmm?” You answered, now wearing your favorite pair of pajamas, a tooth brush hanging from between your lips. 

“Plans changed. We’re meeting that group tonight, Dwight caught trail of them this afternoon. They’re out trying to get a doctor, and I, in all my empathetic glory, decided to meet them halfway. You coming?” 

For a moment you wanted to say no. 

After all, you were tired. And you had already changed into flannel pajama pants and a tank top, your hair was already up in a bun, your face was already washed clean of that day’s dirt. Yet for some reason, you agreed. So you made your way back to your room and applied new deodorant, throwing on your daily outfit which consisted of some pretty dope fingerless, leather gloves, and a thigh holster Negan got you for your birthday last year. Your bun was switched for a ponytail, because you had to make a good first impression, and after tying up your boots, you ran down to meet Negan and his men. 

The night had settled well into the Virginia air, and you rode front passenger seat beside Negan in an RV he had found that day, in God only knows where. 

“The woods?” You scoffed as he turned into the canopied path. 

“The woods.” Negan clarified. shooting you a wink. 

The RV pulled up, and outside there was a circle of people, but no lights were shining on them yet. “I’m gonna go give them the scare of their life, and then your pretty little self is gonna follow suit and bash one of their brains in.” Negan snickered, giving you a pair of wiggled eyebrows. 

You chuckled, nodding as he kissed your cheek and turned off the RV. Once he was outside, you heard him beginning to speak his snarky script, the car lights turning on to illuminate them. But you didn’t look outside yet, you sat, contemplating, thinking. Your eyes moved to the scar on your palm, the scar you had gotten when you were little. 

It was your family’s first trip to Florida. You were only six or seven, Carl hadn’t been born yet. And you saw a pretty gray shell in the sandy ocean water, but it was actually a stingray. The stinger went square into your palm, so deep it was gushing blood all the way to the oceanside hospital. Thankfully, and quite obviously, you survived. 

There was another white mark on your finger, where your aunt Norma had accidentally burnt you with her cigarette during the fourth of july. You were eleven or twelve, not too old but not too young. 

A small, saddening smile stretched across your lips as you waited for Negan’s knock on the camper door. You bummed out softly, walking back and forth. Your heart began hurting. You missed your family. And you especially missed Abraham. Your body longed for one of your mothers hugs or one of your dads stupid jokes, and quite honestly, you missed Carl being an annoying little brat. But life wasn’t like that anymore. Life couldn’t go the way it always had. 

You remembered the last time you saw them. You remembered it all. The weekend before you had gone to a friends at a lake-side lodge in New Mexico, there it broke all out. You never heard from them again, yet somehow you found yourself all the way in Virginia, no physical harm. Only emotional.

You remembered the cookout. You remembered Abraham picking you up and throwing you into the pool. You remembered laughing and splashing him and swimming around with no care in the world.

“Burgers or hotdog?” Your dad asked as he stood st the grill, standing in swimming trunks and a semi wet shirt, his short hair messy agaisnt his forehead.

“Burger!” You called out, doing laps around the pool.

“How about a game of chicken?” Abraham shouted, and Abraham excitedly jumped in. “I’ve got sugar,” he pointed at you, “and Uncle Tim’s got Carl.”

Abraham has always called you sugar. Always had, and if he was around, he still would’ve. Sweet as sugar.

“There’s not a mean bone in your body.” Abraham would say to you. “You keep that niceness. The world needs more pretty girls like you.” He would tell you, and your heart would beat so fast it would almost always jump out of your chest.

Oh, how he was so wrong now. “Not a mean bone my ass.” You whispered to yourself, and when you reached up to scratch you cheek, you found they were wet with unknown tears.

You contemplated just escaping out the window and running off. Maybe if you tried to find your way back to Texas, you could see him again. You could find your Abraham. But you decide agaisnt it. You had made it this far. Your body was now stone cold with bitterness and heartlessness.

So when Negan rapped Lucille against the door, you grabbed your gun and put it on your thigh, taking in a deep breath, plastering a bitter smirk on your face, and sauntering out, announcing; 

“Let’s get this shit storm started!”


	3. Chapter Three- Ginger

The light shining against Lucille, whom rested delightfully on Negans shoulder, blinded your vision momentarily. Nonetheless, you stepped out of the RV, smirking devilishly. 

“Huh? Well?” You looked at the faces, blinded by the light surrounding you. You were too far away to see them clear. “Nobody is gonna fuckin’ answer me? What a shame.” 

“You know what this means, Honey?” Negan tsked, taking a dramatic step towards you as he hung his head in mock defeat. 

“What does this mean, Negan?” You played along, frowning up at him. 

“It means we’re gonna have to bash their heads in. And ginger over there is lookin’ pretty mean.” 

“Ginger?” You asked, taking a step back. Suddenly, your face paled. “Dwight, fuckin’ dumbass, cut one of the lights. I can’t see shit!” You shouted, your heart suddenly racing. 

Negan looked at you, eyebrows furrowing now. “What’s gotten into yo-“ 

Your eyes dropped, face softening. “Daddy?” You whispered, seeing a man on the ground. 

This man did not truly look like your dad. His eyes were week, his face pale. Long curls dripping with sweat were stuck against his face. Yet you knew it was him. You saw the familiar warmth his eyes held long ago, you saw his ring on his wedding finger. You saw your mom nowhere. Beside him was a black woman you had never seen before, beside her was a curly headed white man who looked unfamiliar, and then there was Carl. An eyepatch was wrapped around his eyes, your dads old sheriff hat atop his head, slanting to the side. 

“(F/n)?” He glanced at you, eyes now wide and trembling lips parted. Your dads hands were shaking, and he was looking at Negan. 

You nodded slowly, rushing over to him and engulfing him in a tight hug. 

“Well isn’t this cute.” Negan groaned, chuckling softly. 

You ignored him. “Carl.” You whispered, extending your hand. Carl crawled towards you, hugging you tightly. “I’ll grt you out of this. If I knew it was you, I wouldn’t have even let him come.” 

“You work for him?” Your dad asked, his face twisting with pain. 

“More like he works for me. If it weren’t for me, Negan wouldn’t even have the Sanctuary. Don’t worry. I’ll explain it all later.” You whispered in their ears quietly, hoping no one would hear. And no one did. 

“You know these people?” Negan asked, lookin at you curiously. The Saviors has guns cocked to your head now, but one look their way and they lowered them in admirable fear. 

“Cute.” You snickered, biting your lip. “Negan, these are my fuckin’ people.” 

“And your fuckin’ people still killed have my-our, half of our, men.” Negan whispered now, his forehead against yours as he made the conversation now private. “And this is embarrassing. I don’t wanna make a bad first impression.” He snickered, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Negan, let me handle this.” 

“We still have to kill one of them.” He whispered. “I’m a man of my fuckin’ word, Grimes. I can’t let them think I’m a liar, now can I?” 

“I said let me handle this. Kill someone, anyone. But not the ginger, not Rick, and not the kid with an eyepatch. Everyone else I’ve never seen before, but this is my family.” 

“And who’s Big Red over there? A crazy uncle?” 

“I’m one way or another. Let me get them out of here. Then I’ll come back and show the rest of them hell.” 

“You’re asking a lot from me...” Negan trailed off, his eyes narrowing at you. “Rick needs to watch. He needs to be taught a lesson.” 

“Negan this is my family, please.” 

“And those were our men!” Negan raised his voice, repeating that for the fiftieth time that night. 

“And with these people, and wherever the hell they’re from, we can recruit more! Don’t try and beat me at my own game, Negan!” You shouted, taking a step back. “I fuckin’ built this place. Without me, none of this shit would even have started. Don’t you forget that.” 

Negans jaw clenched, but he remained silent. “Get your people out. Then come back. You chose who.” Negan growled, his voice quiet and level now. 

“Thank you.” You whispered genuinely. “Dad, Carl, Abraham.” Your voice cracked softly. “Come with me. I’ll take you somewhere safe. Just, please, follow orders.” You begged. 

All three of them slowly got up, and you followed them down the path to another RV that Negan had brought. 

“(F/N).” Rick whispered again, scooping you up againin his arms. 

“I’ve missed you guys so much.” You wrapped your arm around Carl, extending your free hand to Abraham. He grabbed it, giving you the barliest hint of a smile. 

“We thought you were dead.” Carl admitted, hugging you once your dad pulled away. 

“I thought you guys were dead too.” 

“C’mere, sugar.” 

Your chest became tight, and you rushed into Abraham’s arms, your head resting against his chest. 

“Listen, I’m gonna try and stop Negan from killing anyone.” You promised, pulling away from his familiarly warm arms with a smile. “But he’s headstrong. It’ll take a while. And if he has to kill someone, I’ll make sure it isn’t with Lucille.” 

“Who’s that?” Carl asked. 

“The baseball bat.” You explained quietly. “Just stay here. Okay? Just sit tight, in the RV, here’s a knife incase any geeks get to you. An hour tops, then we can be together again.” 

They nodded, frowning a bit. “Please make sure he doesn’t kill Michonne.” Your dads voice cracked, and he looked at you. 

“Who?” 

“The one who was beside me.” Abraham explained. 

“Consider it done.” You went to walk back, before turning. “Hey dad?” 

“Yes?” 

“Where’s momma?” His face was expressionless. He didn’t speak, didn’t move. You were sure he didn’t take a breath. “Where’s mom?” You repeated, your voice cracking. 

“She isn’t-she-” But Rick couldn’t form any coherent words. 

“I killed her.” Carl spoke up. 

“What?” You looked at him, tears flooding your eyes. 

“She was having a baby. She wouldn’t have made it. I did it before the Walkers could.” 

“A baby?” Your voice cracked. A baby killed your mother. A baby. A baby nobody asked for. These were the only thoughts rushing through your head. 

“Judith.” Your dad spoke, looking at you. 

Abraham was standing in the back, looking out into th woods. “I’ll-“ You sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I’ll be back. Just sit tight.” 

You made your way back to the circle, giving Negan a nod. “Took you long enough.” He grunted. 

“You’ll get over it, baby.” You cooed teasingly, shooting him a smirk. “Who’s ready for some fun?” You turned to them, raising an eyebrow. 

“Nobody talk, nobody move. If any of you make a sound, I shoot the arrow man and make one of you gut him.” Negan snarled, walking down the row. 

“Who looks good to you?” Negan called, going back into the little game he played. 

And you always played along. “Hmm...this one does.” You pointed to the pretty black girl who was beside your dad, raising an eyebrow. 

Negan crouched down, tilting his head to the side. “And what’s your name, pretty girl?” 

“Sasha.” She sneered. 

“Sasha, sasha, sasha.” You tsked, stepping in front of her. The lady lunged, grabbing your leg. Immediately, guns were cocked and aimed at her head. “Ah, ah.” You raised your hands, and everyone took a step back. 

“What did you do to Abe?!” She looked up at you in a fit of blind rage. 

You grabbed your knife, pressing it to her neck. “What? Are you his momma or something?” You cooed, head tilting to the side. 

She sneered once more, her jaw clenching. “No, but I-“ 

“Listen.” You whispered, leaning in. “I’ve known him my whole life. He’s never been able to keep a girl. His ex wife? Left him because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. His other wife? I don’t know where she is, but it probably isn’t somewhere good. You’re not special to him. He goes through women the same way I go through beer bottles. That’s a lot.” You sighed, shaking your head a bit. 

“It would be better for you to leave him. I’ll be keeping an eye out on you. Don’t look at him, don’t touch him, don’t talk to him. That is...if you even make it out of here alive.” 

You stood up, stepping back, a smirk tugging across your face. “And what was your name again? Sarah?” 

“Sasha.” She growled. 

“Ah, yeah. Sasha.” You hummed out, returning to Negans familiar side. 

From the corner of your eye, you saw the pretty Hispanic girl snicker. You shot her a wink, and she smirked at you a bit before lowering her head as Negans eyes followed yours to her. 

“The choice is up to you.” He looked at you, shrugging a bit. “I mean, you are the one killing them.” 

“Just so many entrees on the menu, Negan. I just can’t pick.” 

“There’s a two for one deal going on.” Negan sneered, shooting you an arrogant grin. 

“Oh, is there? But I don’t want leftovers.” 

“Then get a to-go box. Go down the line, chose.” 

“Let’s see. Asian boy looks like he could be useful. I like the girl beside her. Robin Hood looks like a good fighter, we keep him. The girl beside him? She looks tough. Sick lady looks like she wants to be put out of her misery. Sarah over there is fiesty, she’s at the top of my list right now. Boy beside her looks like he knows a lot. And mullet over there, we’ll come on, he’s got a fuckin’ mullet. How cool is that shit?” You murmured to Negan, and he nodded. 

“Sasha then?” 

“Teach her a lesson.” You clenched your jaw, eyes narrowing. “Shoot her.” 

“But Lucille-” He began to whine. 

“I said shoot her, Negan.” You snarled, grabbing your gun and throwing it over your shoulder. “I’ll drive the other three back to the Sanctuary and show them around. They’re under my jurisdiction.” 

You looked at all the Savors. “Nobody touch them. Sick lady? Make sure she gets help and medicine at the Hilltop. The rest of these people? Make sure they get to their camp safely. Understood?” 

“Understood.” They responded in unison. 

“Good. And Negan?” 

“Yes, my darlin’? Light of my life? Apple of my eye?” He cooed, leaning back with every word. 

“Thank you.” 

“Gotta show my favorite girl I love her, don’t I?” He leaned down and kissed your cheek, watching you walk off. 

You made your way back to the RV. “Get in. I’m taking you to the Sactuary. We have food, heating, air condition, showers. You all can stay in my room tonight. Don’t worry. I have orders to get your friend out of there safely. The sick lady is going to get help.” 

Rick grabbed your hand, and Carl sat beside him. Once more, Abraham stood solemnly in the back. You didn’t want to admit it, but his coldness towards you was unsettling. You had wondered if you did something to upset him, but you were just reunited to his side. 

You walked into the Sanctuary and immediately people knelt. “At ease, soldiers.” You joked with a snicker, walking up the stairs to the bedrooms you all had created. “This is the Sactuary.” 

“Why’d they kneel? Are you, like, their leader?” Carl asked. 

“Something like that. I run the place, Negan instills fear.” 

“And you? You’ve stayed sweet as a peach the whole time?” Abraham asked. 

His voice startled you, it sent a warm rush down your back, and you grabbed your key to unlock your room. “Some way or another.” You shrugged, stepping in. “Make yourselves at home. The bathroom is the door to your left. That bookshelf, Carl? All comics.” 

“My people.” Your dad looked at you, and you nodded as he asked. “Are they going to be-“ 

“Dad, I made Negan promise. He’s killing one of them, I gave options but he always goes off the whim. That black lady you asked for, the sick woman, the guy with the mullet, and the arrow guy are all safe. Negan likes them all.” 

“Their names are Michonne, Maggie, Eugene and Daryl.” He whispered. 

“I won’t remember any of those. But I’m sure I’ll meet them eventually. I’m gonna get you all fresh clothes and some food. I’ll be back.” You kissed your dads cheek and ruffled Carl’s hair. “And when I come back up, you young lad, are gonna tell me what happened to your eye.” 

You stepped out, and Abraham followed suit. Turning, you looked at him oddly. “Can I help you?” 

“Just wanted to come with you. Rooms are stuffy sometimes.” Abraham explained, rubbing his neck. 

“I understand.” 

He reached out his hand and you gently grabbed it, walking down the stairs with him. 

“So that Negan fella’. Is he your boyfriend or somethin’?” Abraham asked slowly, thick eyebrows furrowing. 

“We’re on and off sometimes. When this all started he was broken hearted, y’know? I helped him through it, and he helped me deal with a whole lot. We have a deep connection. We’ve both done some bad things but in this world?”

“In this world, we all have.” Abraham knew what you meant and he nodded, his thumb brushing across your knuckles. 

“Where’s Ellen? The kids? Did they make it?” You asked. 

“No. Wiped out the week after. Got eaten by those fuckers.” 

“I’m so-“ 

“Don’t be.” 

You glanced at him, cupping his cheek while you placed a gentle kiss on the other. “Everything’s going to be okay now. I have you three back with me, give or take a mom or two.” You shed a little light to the situation, and he nodded slowly in agreement 

“So this is the ground level. We have people who grow food, make things. You give and you get, that’s how this place is run. Everybody’s gotta pull their weight around here. You pay, not with money, but by trade. My favorite vendor, Eugenia, I always give her sunflower seeds for sweet tea.” 

“Sweet tea? I haven’t had some in forever.” Abraham groaned out. 

“Well I have a stash. I keep it safe like moonshine.” You grinned at him, nudging his shoulder with yours. He let out a quiet chuckle and nodded. “Anyway. A few other vendors sew things up, some make things. We have children here, they usually have people that make toys and stuff.” 

“What do you do?” 

“I run the damn place.” 

Abraham chuckled, looking at you. The sparkle in his eye was enough to make you melt. All this time apart, and he was finally back again. 

You walked around the vendors and grabbed some random stuff. Some bread, some lettuce and eggs, a jar of mustard-the works. Each time you paid them. You weren’t really required to since you were the reason they all were there, but you were fair. They liked that about you. They respected that about you. 

You let Abraham back to your large room, walking to the little kitchenette portion. It was really just a fridge, foreman grill, coffeemaker and a microwave. You cracked the eggs, humming softly to yourself. You heard the water running and new your dad was takin a shower, Carl tucked in the corner reading his worry away. 

“Don’t y'all worry. They’re gonna be alright.” You have Carl a smile when he looked up, handing him the egg sandwich you had made. You made Abraham one too, sitting down on the edge of your bed. 

“What’s that around your neck?” Abraham asked before taking a bite, a playful gleam on his face. 

“The necklace you got me, for my sixteenth.” 

“You still wear it?” 

“I still wear it.”


	4. Chapter Four- Fair and Biased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has not been checked or edited, so mind spelling/grammar errors.

“He wasn’t always like this. When I met him, he was broken. Lucille? That bat? It’s name after his wife. She die a little before this started, she had cancer. But the whole shit storm started a few days later, she turned. He made someone else kill her because he wasn’t strong enough.” 

“When we met, it was a few months in. I had driven to Tennessee with Adrian and her family, all the way from New Mexico. We were with a big group, and we got lucky enough. It was too early, everything hadn’t really broken out yet. Adrian got bit that weekend we got to Knoxville. Her dad killed himself, and her mom left me. She left me with nothing. I was wandering blindly, all because that bitch was scared. I was making my way to Virginia when I found her. She had turned. But her intestines were all scattered, her arms missing. She couldn’t even move off the pavement. I shot her, put her out of her misery.” 

“When I got to Virginia, it had been about five or six months by the time the whole thing had started. I was scavenging at some little shop, when two men cornered me. They, you know, started feeling me up. But my gun was out of ammo and they had taken my knife. That’s when I met Negan. He killed them, bashed their brains in with this fucking baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.” 

“It took us a minute to warm up. He had broke himself away from the world, became some icy cold man. But I got him to open up, and he-he helped me with some things. I still struggle with my problems, and he struggles with his. But we’ve been through this hell together, and he means a lot to me.” 

“You all see a heartless man, but I see a resilient one. We’ve all done things that we don’t like. I’ve had to murder and execute and kill. I’ve had to fight and survive. We all have. Negan and I found this place, turned it into something good. We met Simon and Gavin, a few of our outpost leaders. We found families and we found people trying to survive.” 

“You give what you get. That’s basically the motto. A society that’s going to last until the end of this all. Strong people, stronger fighters.” 

“All I’m saying is Negan isn’t all that bad. If he’s bad, then I’m the devil in the flesh.” 

Looking out at Abraham, Carl and your dad, you explained the story to them. They had gotten settled in for the evening at the Sanctuary, and you provided them with all the answers they needed. 

“We have all done bad things.” Rick nodded, finishing the last of his sandwich. “But Negan-“ 

“To be fair, you did blow up one of our troops, and you murdered a whole outpost of ours. These are our fighters and you’re killing them. We need to find common ground.” 

“I agree with (F/N).” Carl nodded, dog earring the corner page of his comic book. 

“She is makin’ some sense, Rick.” Abraham glanced at him, nodding. “And God knows Alexandria needs some help.” 

Your dad sighed a bit, nodding. “It’s going to take time to get used to.” 

“It always does.” You nodded a bit and stretched out your arms with a hum. “Let’s make some beds. I’ve got blankets, a couch over there. Someone can take my bed if they want.” 

They all settled in, and once they did, you flipped off the lights. Climbing into the bed, you tugged your covers over you. For a long while there was silence filled with your dads soft snores, until Abraham sat up. 

“Sugar?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I get in with you? I want to talk.” 

“Of course you can.” 

Scooting over to the side, he climbed in beside you. Abraham always smelled the same. Like cigars and whiskey. You wondered if his skin was just permanently stuck that way, because even in the midst of dirty chaos, he still smelled that way. 

“What’s on your mind?” You whispered, looking at him. 

Abraham played with the ends of your hair, letting out a soft hum. “Not much. I’ve just missed you. You’re all grown up.” 

You nodded, smiling softly. “I guess I am. You haven’t changed too much. Your hair is just messier.” You ran your fingers through his red hair, giggling quietly. 

“Retired now.” He mused, and you grinned once more. 

“Are you now?” 

“Livin’ the dream life, course I am. Vacation home, stacks or cash. A guy can dream.” 

“That sounds nice. A vacation.” You whispered, nodding in agreement. 

“I need one right about now.” 

“Then let’s go on one.” You laughed, curling closer to him. 

“I was thinking Florida.” Abraham looked down at you with raised eyebrows, chuckling. 

“Orlando or Miami?” 

“Why not both?” 

“It’s settled then. Disney World and the beach.” 

“And don’t forget Universal Studios.”

“How could I?” 

You both laughed softly, and your head gently rested on his shoulder. Silence engulfed you once more, and you fell asleep in his familiarly warm, strong grasp. For once you felt comfort surrounding your whole, blanketing you from the outside world. 

Alexandria was small compared to the Sanctuary. 

And everyone there was scared of everything. 

Negan’s men, followed by you and the man himself, decided to pay Alexandria a visit a few days after everything had gone down. Immediately you hated it. These people were living in a box. None of them could fight, at least four of them started to cry when you spoke to them, and they all were pushovers. 

The ones that weren’t your family, at least. 

“You? What’s your name?” You pointed to a lady who stepped up shyly. 

“O-Olivia.” 

“Olivia? Where’s your garden?” 

She pointed a shaking finger to the left side of the little village like neighborhood, and you threw up a peace sign before making your way over to the garden patch, resting behind some trees and a pond. There you saw the hispanic girl, and whole you grabbed an apple off the tree, you looked at her. 

“What’s your name?” You asked. 

“Rosita.” She rolled her ‘R’, and attitude dripped from her every syllable.

“Well, Rosita.” You told the ‘R’ in return, raising an eyebrow. “I’m (F/n).” 

“Okay? How’s that supposed to help me out?” She rolled her eyes, turning from you. 

“Here, let me rephrase that!” You grabbed her, harshly making her turn to you. “Hello, Rosita! My name is (F/n). (F/n) Grimes. You know my dad, don’t you? The man who’s helped you survive?” 

“If you’re his daughter why did you-“ 

“This isn’t storytime. Why would I tell you my past? I don’t expect you to tell me everything about yourself.” You snapped. 

Rosita smirked, raising an eyebrow. “What do you want from us?” 

“What? A girl can’t have a fuckin’ family reunion?”

You took a bite from the apple, turning on your heel and walking off.

“Find anything?” Negan asked when you reached him, and you shrugged. 

“It’s humble enough. They have a nice artillery, a garden over there with some stuff. A few fruit trees. We leave their mattresses and clothes, there are children here.” 

“You’re becoming a softie, you know.” Negan rolled his eyes, turning to you. 

“No I’m not. I’m just being fair.” 

“Fair? Or are you being biased?” Negan chuckled, gently brushing some hair behind your ear. 

“It’s a healthy mix of both.” 

“Where are you going?” He called as you started to walk towards the houses. 

“I have to go get some stuff from my dad.” 

You walked to the house that your dad said was his, stepping in. You saw the woman, who name was Michonne or something like that, and you gave her a look. “Is this Ricks house?” 

“Mhm.” She hummed out, scooping peanut butter out of a jar. 

“Then why are you in it?” 

“Because it’s Ricks house.” She answered shortly, and your jaw clenched. 

“Hey, I don’t know what your problem is, but don’t fuckin’ treat me like that. Now I hear there’s a baby here?” 

“A baby? No. Not here.” 

“You lie.” 

Michonne stayed silent. 

A cry ruptured your ears, and Michonne turned quickly to run up the stairs. You grabbed her wrist. “No, no. Leave it to me.” 

With a smirk, you walked up the stairs, walking into a closed off room. 

Inside sat a baby girl, bouncing at the crib, her blonde curls stuck to her forehead. “Judith, huh? That’s what they decided to name you?” 

You scooped her up into your arms. You hated her for killing your mother, but as you held her closely, you realized it wasn’t really her fault to begin with. 

“Not as good a name as (F/n), but it suits you.” 

You cradled her close to you, walking towards the window. 

“Shit world, huh?” 

Judith reached up and gently grabbed your cheek. You smiled, kissing her hand. 

“Well little sis, doesn’t matter much now. We’re making it better.” 

The door opened and you turned, seeing Rick. “Sorry for Michonne being so cold to you. She didn’t recognize who you were.” 

“Eh, no harm no foul. I get it.” You nodded, handing Judith to your dad when she reached towards him. 

“Negan’s looking for you.” 

You nodded, walking down the stairs and outside. “Which one did you end up killing?” You asked, glancing at him. 

“Sasha.” He looked at you, setting a hand on your lower back and walking you towards an open garage. Inside was a bunch of food, but behind it was a gun artillery. 

“They’ve got a lot.” 

“And I’m going to take them all.” 

“N-“ 

He looked at you, eyebrows furrowing together. “They killed our men. We take their guns. Stop the problem at the root. It isn’t difficult to understand, (F/n).” 

“Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your fucking men, Negan. I run this shit. Do I have to remind you again? That’s all I ever do anymore! You’re dick is getting a little too big for your fucking boxers.” You snapped. 

“And you’re getting a little too soft!” Negan snapped right back. 

“No! I’m fair, Negan. Get what you give. I’m giving everyone an equal chance!” 

“You’re only giving who you want an equal chance. That isn’t fair.” 

“Oh, and you suddenly are?” You growled out aggravatedly. 

“Obviously! That’s how I’ve always been!” 

“No, Negan! You've always been angry. And you let that anger out in helpless people.” 

“You meet your presumably dead dad once and suddenly you’re the teachers pet.” Negan turned his back to you, and your face dropped. 

“Negan.” 

You gently grabbed his arm, turning him back to look your way. “Negan I’m sorry.” 

The man genuinely looked upset. 

His eyes were darkening and his eyebrows were pressed into a look of distress. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and he tightly returned the gesture. 

“It’s tiring.” Negan muttered into your neck. 

Negan was always so warm. Really only ever to you though. You held him tight, gently playing with his hair. 

“I know. Leading is hard. Especially when you have to be a tough ass. We’re going to figure it all out though. We always have.” 

Negan nodded, kissing your cheek. “And what would I do without you, Honey?” 

“Probably live a lot more comfortably.” You joked. 

Negan grinned, grabbing your hand and walking to the truck. You didn’t even notice Abraham’s state as you two drove out the gates.


	5. Chapter Five- Lucille

The store was dark, quiet. 

A looming uncertainty was present throughout the room, the creaking floorboards molding at the edges, the windows cracking at the seams. 

Beneath you, your boots made light tapping noises as you walked. Your knife was in your hand, ammoless gun stuck to your hip. 

A noise sounded behind you, and the hair on the back of your neck stood up quickly. Turning, your eyebrows shot up when a hand went around your mouth, a strong force slamming you into the wall. 

“Haven’t seen a pretty girl for months.” The voice growled. 

Looking up, you saw a man, in his early twenties. Around his neck was a golden cross, his tan skin glistening with sweat as his green eyes pierced into yours. 

“What do you say, Lucky? Think we should have a go at her?” Another voice echoed the walls, and you saw another guy stepping up. He was a little older, with brown curls and stubble, and a mean looking scar running down his neck. 

“I think we should, Giovanni. I really think we should.” 

Without thinking you bit down on his hand, lunging for your knife when he recoiled. The man called Giovanni kicked the knife out of your hand and pressed you to the floor, the barrel of his gun pressed to your cheek. 

“You know, this’ll be a whole lot easier when we’re through.” He growled. 

“I thought Italians were supposed to be friendly?” You scoffed, squirming in his grasp. 

“Only the Southern ones.” Lucky snickered, his fingers moving to his belt. 

Your thoughts had no time to process as you watched the scene unfold. A man stepped from the shadows, a man you hadn’t even noticed, a baseball bat firm in his hands. He swung, and you watched as his fingers tightened and biceps flexed. Lucky fell to the ground, blood gushing from his head. Giovanni jumped to his feet and grabbed the gun from your hip. 

“It’s empty, dumbass.” 

The man with the bat swung at Giovanni, and he too fell to the ground. He didn’t stop there, though. 

He bashed. 

He hit. 

He swung. Blood covered his crisp white shirt, dripping down the sides of his shaved, chiseled cheeks. 

With a glance your way, he let his breaths escape him, turning in his heel to leave. But before he did he reached into his pocket, tossing a few bullets towards you. 

“Hey, hey. Wait up, tiger.” You tucked your shirt back into your jeans, grabbing the guns and the bullets, stuffing the knife in its sheath as you ran to catch up to him. “Thanks for that.” 

“I don’t like rapists.” Was all he said. 

His voice was gorgeous. Raspy, rough, velvety. He was gorgeous. With hazel eyes sparkling in the sun, a perfectly sculpted body- his hair was perfectly groomed, and you were in the middle of a whole entire apocalypse. You were in awe of this god like man. This god like man who appeared to you as if he were Jesus and you were a sinner. 

“Hell, neither do I. What’s your name?” 

“Negan.” 

“And that bat?” You asked jokingly. 

He stopped, taking a look at the bat. Then you. “Lucille.” 

“I’m (F/n).” 

Negan continued walking in solitude, the bloody Lucille atop his shoulder. 

“You’re still following me.” 

“No shit, Sherlock.” 

Negan chuckled at that, turning to look at you. “Where are you from?” 

“Texas.” 

“Well this ain’t Texas, honey. You sure are a ways from home.” Negan leaned against the car hood, his arms crossed now as the bat rested against his leg. 

“That’s why I need somebody else to help me. I have no idea what I’m doing. And in this world, two’s definitely better than one.” 

“Two’s always been better than one.” Negan snickered, glancing at you. “How long have you been alone?” 

“Since the very beginning. I got myself here.” 

“No family?” 

“Obviously not. And you?” 

“Obviously not.” He echoed, glancing at you. 

From the distance, there were shuffles and moans. “I got it.” You grabbed your knife, walking towards the end of the road, only to be greeted by a few dozen. “I don’t got it. Run!” You demanded, grabbing your backpack and running with him. 

Negans legs were longer than yours, but his hand held you up by your wrist as you sprinted down the deserted towns path. 

“There! That factory building!” You pointed to the rusting building, unlocking the gate with fumbling hands and lunging inside when it finally opened. 

Negan locked it quickly, wiping his brow. “You’re a quick thinker.” He muttered, giving you a grin. 

“And you’re a fast runner.” Both of you looked around the grounds, hands grasped around knife and bat handles. “This could make a good camp.” 

“It’s big, and there’s good fencing.” Negan agreed. 

“Keep your eyes open, there could be some geeks around here.” 

“Those fuckers are like damned mice. Just dropping fuckin’ turds everywhere.” 

You glanced at Negan, a smile tugging at your lips. In an odd sense, he reminded you of Abraham. “You remind me of someone I used to know.” 

“Is that good?” 

“It’s very good.” 

“Behind you.” 

Turning, you slammed the knife into the head of a geek that tried to sneak up on you, easily dropping it to the ground. 

The gravel beneath your feet crunched, and both of you arrived at a door. Negan banged on it with Lucille, waiting for any geeks to appear from inside. A few stragglers appeared, and you looked at Negan who nodded. Opening the door with some difficulty, they all roamed out. A single hit to their head with Lucille got the job down. You two spent the rest of the evening burning them down in a fire, roaming inside the warehouse and killing any that you hadn’t seen. “With a building this big, we need more people.” “Like a society.” You commented, nodding at him. “That’s a good idea. We can’t be the only people left.” Negan nodded, running a hand down his chin. You two sat in the middle of the big, empty factory, a trash can bin on fire keeping you two warm. “We’re stronger with more people.” “And in this world, I don’t think the dead is our biggest threat.” “You mean there could be societies now? That there could be deadlier people out there?” Negan asked, and you shook your head yes. “It’s human nature to migrate towards other people. And definitely in an apocalypse do people want to be with others. I think if we get ahead of the game, if we somehow find other men and women, even families. We create something. You get what you give, give what you get. People go out, use their talents. You can sew? Great, fix somebodies shirt up. They give you something in return. That’s what I mean.” “Pay by trade.” Negan looked up, his smirk illuminated by the fire. “You’re a smart little girl.” “I’m not a little girl.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. He chuckled smoothly, leaning back. “Sure you ain’t.” “What about you? How old are you?” You asked curiously. “I was forty six when this all happened.” “It’s been what? A year? Two?” “One year, fifteen days, and seven months.” He leaned back and you looked at him. “I’m eighteen in ten days, then.” You sighed out softly, laying back. “You’ve been keeping track?” “Course I have. Time is all I’ve got now.” You looked at him, nodding. “I guess me too.” “Crazy, huh? How fast the world can go to shit. One minute you’re livin’ the dream life, the next you’re stabbin’ those fuckers in the head.” “I was so close to graduating.” You whispered, laying down on the pallet you had made. “So close to having my own life. Didn’t even get to go to prom.” Negan chuckled, nodding as he laid down. “I remember those days.” “Crazy, huh?” You mocked his voice and he chuckled, looking at you. “It sure is.” “Tomorrow we can search for people. Go down the way a bit.” “There’s a neighborhood a few blocks down. We can look through there. Pretty damn uppity uppity and such. We’re all the doctors and lawyers lived.” “We need a doctor. That would be a good thing to have. this is our Sanctuary now.” “The Sanctuary.” You grinned at Negan, nodding. “I like that. The Sanctuary.” “What’s that necklace you’re wearing?” Negan pointed to your neck, the necklace glistening in the firelight. “It’s a necklace. The little golden bar has eight dots. Each are a stone, each mean something. This first one is a Red Jasper, it represents strength. This one is a Carnelian, it’s passion. This other one is a Citrine, it means clearness of mind. Then this one is an emerald, it brings you successful love. This rock is a tanzanite, it integrates mind with heart. This one is an amethyst, it creates the third eye, wakes up intuition. And this last one? This is a garnet, it brings healing.” You explained softly, giving him a little smile. He looked at it with interest, the gold chain resting pretty against your collarbones. Began nodded, looking at you with curiosity.“Who gave it to you?” Your mind wandered to Abraham. His sparkling blue eyes and his wonderfully messy hair. You thought of the last time you ever saw him. He had found you in your room, getting ready to pack and leave for New Mexico with your best friend. “I forgot to give you your last present.” He said to you, smiling as he stepped in and closed the door behind him. “Present? You’ve already given me a lot.” You retaliated for a moment, smiling at him as nervous air filled your lungs. “Yeah, but this one is special.” “Oh yeah?” You grinned, putting your suitcase up. “What is it?” “A necklace. It has stones on it. Those stones you like. Forgot what they were called, but I know you like ‘me.” He chuckled, scratching his chin. “Abraham.” You grinned, stepping up and giving him a tight hug. “It means a lot.” You remembered how he sat down, laughing as he tried to remember what each stone meant. He kept pausing, and you kept trying to help him. Abraham remembered how much you liked spiritual stuff like that, even though he thought it was bullshit. And each time you looked back on it, you hated yourself for not staying. Because if you stayed, you would still be with him. “Well?” Negan drew you from your thoughts, and you shook your head a it. “Who gave it to you? A friend? A lover? An uncle?” He pushed, and you laughed. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It hasn’t for a while.”


	6. Chapter Six- The Devil

Your head was fuzzy with flashbacks. They kept coming to you. Wave after wave. The coming of your family made you reavalute where everything had gone wrong, where you had became a different person than who you once were. You sighed out, leaning your head against the freight window, thinking back on everything you had ever done since the world went to shit. Thinking of all you had met, everyone you had killed. Your eyes shut, lips parting as guilt, empathy, and every emotion filled your mind, rage engulfing you. 

The morning light had already flooded into the monochrome room by the time you had waken up, bed covers light agaisnt your bare chest. With a soft moan you stretched out your arms, humming out softly as you sat up with a loud yawn. 

Beside you, the bed was empty. But the air still smelled like him. 

Your hips ached, chest tender and thighs weak. Stepping into a pair of slippers and a bathrobe, you walked down the hallway, where the kitchen stayed. 

Negan was in there, whistling some random tune stuck in his head. Simon was at the table, flipping through a newspaper with dirt ruffling the sides. 

“That’s old news.” You joked, grinning his way. 

“Good way to let the time pass by.” 

Negan turned to you, smiling a charming smile your way. “Busy night last night?” He whispered in your ear jokingly, gently kissing the skin beneath it. 

“Pretty busy.” You responded, smirking his way. 

“Today, we should go out. Try and find more people.” Simon spoke up, and you looked at him with a nod. 

“We have fifteen, twenty already. I’ll do a head count today, initiate them, tell them the rules. There’s a base at the elementary school, a few miles east. I saw smoke coming from there.” You explained, taking a cup off coffee from Negans hands. 

Simon propped his feet up on the table, a toothpick dangling from his lips. “I’ll take (F/n) down there today, a few of the new men we got.” He told Negan. 

Negan nodded, yawning a bit. “Good plan. We need to make a few new ones though. Lay out the ground work, for what the Sanctuary is gonna be.” 

“(F/n)?” 

You let out a soft sigh. 

“(F/n)?” 

“Hmm?” You opened your eyes, seeing Negan across from you. He window behind him showed the moving trees and highway, the dead ones outside following, but getting lost in the smoke behind the truck. 

“You okay? You feelin’ warm?” He pressed the back of his hand agaisnt your forehead, and you let out a soft sigh. 

“Y-yeah. I’m alright, Negan. Thank you.” 

He gave you a little smile, kissing your cheek. “Anythin’ for you, honey.” 

“Ten minutes till we’re there.” Simon called from the front. 

“We’re going to pay the outpost a visit, check in. And then I’ll drop you off at Alexandria.” 

“Okay.” You mumbled, giving him a little smile. “Thanks.” 

Negan did his business at the outpost. Usually he went to do a headcount, get supplies they had found, and make sure the fort was settled. You had to see your family in Alexandria, you had to talk to them. Truth be told you had missed them, dearly at that. A few minutes of coaxing Negan into letting you go, and he decided to allow it. Not like he could change your mind anyway. 

When you got to Alexandria, you kissed Negan’s cheek goodbye and stepped out, letting them drive off before knocking on the gate. 

“W-who is it?” A voice quivered behind the covered gate, and you chuckled. 

“The big bad wolf. Now let me in, little piggy.” 

“I-I don’t know if I’m allowed.” 

“Let me rephrase that. Let me in. Now.” You growled. 

A whimper came from the other side, but the gates opened nonetheless. 

“Mulletman! Long time no see.” You grinned, rolling up your sleeve cuffs and looking at him. “You got a name?” 

“E-E-” But the shy man couldn’t get anything out of his mouth. 

“Well hello, E-E.” You snickered, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “You scared of girls or something?” 

“I’ll have you know I enjoy the female form quite a bit.” He rushed out nervously, and you tilted your head back with laughter. 

“Alright mulletman. Where’s Rick?” 

“Out on a run.” 

“Carl?” 

“I-I think he’s out too.” 

“And Abraham?” 

“House 3457.”

“Thanks for the information, kind sir. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some business to attend.” As you walked down the sidewalk, you heard him stuttering behind you. Turning, your furrowed your eyebrows, putting your gun in the waitband of your pants. “Spit it out, asshole.” 

“You’re not gonna hurt him...right?” 

“Mulletman, we’ve got years behind our belt. I wouldn’t even look at him wrong. Now mind your own damn business and watch that gate. You don’t know what could be lurking behind it.” You made a spooky “ooo” sound, wiggling your fingers before skipping off toward the house number. 

You got to the front porch, gently knocking on the door. “Abe?” You called out, stepping in. 

It was mostly quiet, except a creaking coming from the upstairs. Half of you wanted to inspect, the other half wanted to keep to your own and mind your damn business. But you? (F/n) Grimes? You were a badass. Whatever was happening upstairs, you could shut that shit down fast. 

“Abraham!” You shouted, and the creaking stopped. 

Walking up the stairs, you looked around. 

“Are you with the...what’s her name again? Rosita?” You rolled the ‘R’ the same way she did, snickering to herself. “Or somebody else?” Knocking on the door, you leaned against the frame, an amused smirk on your mouth. 

“Mind your damn business.” A female voice called from the other side, and you pinned it down as the woman from the gardens, Rosita. 

“Don’t talk to her that way.” Abraham snapped. 

“She killed Sash-“ 

“You never were very fond of her. You just want a damn excuse to hate every new girl who walks through those fuckin’ gates. Now get dressed and leave. This is more important.” 

“It’s more important? Abraham, you’re a fucking man whore. You sleep with everything that-“ 

Opening the door, you had your gun cocked. “Thin ice, Rosita. Get out.” 

“You just walked right in. You don’t fuckin’ know hi-“ 

“Wanna bet? Because I had a stack of cash burning a hole in my fucking pocket. Now leave, before I remind you who fucking owns this shit show.” You growled, face inches away from hers. 

Rosita narrowed her eyes, clenching her jaw tightly before closing up the last button of her shirt and pushing past you, angrily walking down the stairs. 

“She’s a bitch.” You said in a matter-of-fact tone. 

“Supplies limited, if you haven’t noticed.” Abraham chuckled, leaning against the other side of the door. 

“We haven’t had much time to talk, since everything happened.” 

Abraham looked down, nodding a bit. “That woman? The one that Negan killed?” 

“Sarah?” 

“It’s Sasha.” 

“Yeah, Sasha, right. What about her?” You asked curiously. 

“I was with her.” Abraham whispered, his jaw clenching. “And you had her killed.” 

Something within you snapped, and you glanced up at him. “Without me, your head would be bashed to bits on the ground, Abraham. You don’t know what Negan can do. You don’t know what I can do.” 

Abraham nodded, his jaw clenching even tighter. “Yeah, I obviously don’t know what you can do. You’re not the little girl-“ 

“Because I’m not little anymore, Abraham! Sorry that I can’t be fucking cinderella with the fucking apocalypse raging outside these fucking walls!”

“Better watch your mouth, sugar.” He growled, eyes piercing dagger into your own. 

“You’re telling me? You’re really-“ You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “What’s gotten into you? Did you really expect to see me prancing around like some high schooler? I got shit to do, Abe. I have people to govern and-“ 

“And sadists to defend, right? That’s what he is, ain’t it?” Abraham scratched his scruffy cheek, lowering himself down to face you. 

“You don’t know him.” Your voice was low now, eyes meeting his. “He isn’t like that all the time. You killed our men. Only taking one of you was as gracious as we could be.” 

“Only one? You killed my girl. You expect me to-“ 

“Would you rather have him kill Carl, Abe? Is that what you want? You didn’t even see the half of it! Okay?! You don’t even fucking know what he can do! I have seen Negan rip the head off of one of those roaming fuckers with his bare hands. I’ve seen him shove a shovel through the head of a living man, and pull it it all while keeping him alive. At the Sanctuary? We have a wall. It has those fuckers chained up and roaming around. Men he doesn’t fucking like? They get out in there, they have to round those geeks up like cattle.” You growled, your hand now grasping around the collar of his shirt. 

“He killed-“ 

“He put a bullet through her head, Abraham! I assure you, she didn’t feel a fucking thing! Lucille? That bat he has? He use some it to bash heads in. It doesn’t fucking matter if they’re alive or dead!” Your voice was raised to a scream, cheeks reddening with anger. 

Abraham took a step back, eyes flashing towards you. “And you, Sugar? What have you done? If that mans evil then you’re the devil. That’s what you said. Ain’t it?” 

Your lips quivered with annoyance and stress, his words hitting you where it hurt. “You really wanna know?” You whispered, looking at him through blurring eyes. 

“All aggravation aside, I sure do wanna know.” He nodded his head, extending his hand for you. Slowly you took it, lacing your fingers with his as he walked down to the living room, pulling a chair out for you. 

“Well? ‘Fess up, Sugar. I ain’t got anytime to judge you.”


	7. Chapter Seven- The Holy Trinity

The wallpaper was already peeling off the walls, the antique furniture flipped over, stained with blood. Inside, you were raging. Blood poured from your chest, but it wasn’t yours. Tears of anger blurred your vision, lips shaking. 

“I asked once. I won’t fucking ask again. Where the hell is my man?!” 

“And I already told you I’m not gonna fucking say!” 

“Mmm, wrong fucking choice, Dante! Wrong fucking choice. Want me to start with your fingers? Maybe an ear? Limb by limb, until you tell me where you took Robertson.”

“Well that’s uncalled for-”

“And taking one of my men from the fucking outpost is uncalled for too.” You grabbed your knife, placing it against his jawline. “Maybe I’ll fucking skin you like a bear, put it down like a fucking rug. You’ve got a big storm of shit rushing towards you, Dante. Where the hell is Robertson?” 

“Thought you weren’t gonna ask again.” Negan sneered from behind you with a playful grin. 

You rolled your eyes, looking at him. “Shut the fuck up why dontcha?” 

Negan got up, walking towards you. “You’re doing it all wrong, honey. This interrogation went from zero to one hundred real quick.” He chuckled, looking at you with an amused raise of his eyebrow. 

“Your bash their fuckin’ brains in and call it a day.” 

“You really let her talk to you like that?” Dante looked at you, then to Negan. “Better put that bitch in her place. A good fucking-”

“See, now you’ve gone too fuckin’ far.” Negan raised his voice and grabbed Lucille, swinging it at Dante’s head. He was still conscious. “The ear.” He growled. 

You crouched down, slicing off his ear with a sneer. “Robertson? Where’s he at?” 

“Just kill me!” Dante shouted through his loud wails of pain. “I’ll never fuckin’ tell you!” 

“This isn’t some cop movie, dumbass. Tell my lady where he is, or you’ll get another fuckin’ blow. And I’ll keep it comin’ until you watch your fuckin brains scatter everywhere!” Negan screamed now, bringing Lucille back to swing again. 

“He’s dead!” Dante cried out. “I killed him.” 

You looked at him, lips parting. “That was my best fighter. And you killed him.” 

Dante coughed, blood splattering onto his shirt collar. “At least it was fast.” 

You slammed your foot into his face, cracking his neck with one turn. 

“Did you ever find Robertson?” Abraham asked. “His body.” 

You shook your head no. “No. But I kept his ear. His dick of a brother was back at the sanctuary. He was as bad as him. When we said he killed Robertson he laughed, told us he had it coming. And you know what I did with that ear?” You choked out slowly. 

Abraham looked at you cautiously, swallowing a bit. “What did you do, sugar?” 

“I made him eat it. Then I fed him to the fuckers. And that’s not even the worst thing I’ve done, Abe. There was a time, a year back or so, where I killed anyone who got in my way.”

“What else?” He asked softly, his voice coaxing you into the scene. 

All around you were bystanders. The factory floor was full of everyone there, Negan watching from the side with a gleam in his eye. “Look at my dirty girl.” He mouthed to Simon, shooting him a wink before giving you an arrogant glance. 

“You see,” you walked around the man tied to the chair, eyebrow raised as everyone watched. “I was just gonna iron his face. Make him all ugly. Because a man that attempts to rape me? See, that’s no man at all. He shouldn’t have the privilege of looking like one. Isn’t that right?” 

The man was shaking in his chair, lips quivering with eyes full of fear. “P-Please!” He begged. “I won’t do it again-I swear on my-”

“Hey!” Negan shouted, his voice deep with anger. “Let the lady talk!” 

“Thank you, tiger.” You smirked at him, gently tracing your nail down is jawline when you crouched in front of the chair he was tied to. “Back to the story. The iron, you see, wouldn’t get my point across. But you know what will? Showing everybody how much fucking guts it takes, to try and touch me. The top fucking bitch, who owns this fucking joint. Without me?!” You stood up, your voice raising to a loud roar. “None of you fuckers would be here! And this asshole took it for granted.” 

You grabbed your knife, untying his bonds. “Stand up, Dale.” You kicked his side, watching as he stood up. 

“Everyone fucking watch this! See how much guts it takes to fucking mess with me!” You screamed, grabbing your knife and bringing it across his stomach quickly. 

Dale’s entire stomach opened up, blood pouring from his body. He gasped out, in too much shock to make any noise, dropping to his knees as he cradled his own intestines. 

“You see that?!” Negan shouted, watching Dale fall dead to the ground. “That’s the price you pay for being a pig. Anyone step out of line? Anyone even think about touchin’ her? You’ll have to answer to me and Lucille both. You think that’s bad? This isn’t even the beginning. Everyone go back to your stations!” He shouted, dismissing everyone with fire blooming in his eyes. 

“But he touched you. It was justified.” Abraham explained softly, watching as you sniffled, wiping off your wet cheeks. 

“Yeah...right in front of his entire family, Abe.” 

“It’s in the past now-“ 

“That doesn’t excuse my actions!” You cried out, falling into his chest. 

“Shh. No loren if you don’t want.” 

“No, Abe. I-I gotta do this. I gotta tell you. If I don’t let it go then I...I don’t think I’ll make it.” You whispered softly, and he nodded. 

“Then go ahead, sugar. Take your time.”

Around you, there was darkness. Your supply run went south. You were the only one left, the only one that didn’t get eaten by those fuckers. Blood stained clothes, almost out of ammo. You made a fire outside of your truck, decided you were going to have to sleep in the front seat. And that’s when they came. 

Biker group. A tall man with a broad chest and red leather jacket had you cornered. 

“I want your stuff.” 

“Well you’re not getting it.” You hissed to him. 

“We’ll see about that.” His knife was pressed to your neck, and in one swift movement you kicked it away. Grabbing your gun, you unloaded the ammunition out on the rest of his men. “You killed my guys!” He roared, tackling you down to the ground. 

“You threatened me!” You growled back, struggling to get him off of you. “And you don’t want to threaten me.” 

His hand grasped your neck and you choked out, clawing at his face. The burly man pulled away for a moment a drew his hand back, but you caught his fist, slamming your foot between his legs. It was your turn to tackle him back, straddling him as you went to put your hands around his neck. 

“You’re fiesty.” He snickered, glancing up at you. 

“Are you seriously flirting with me?!” You scoffed out, jaw clenching. 

“Haven’t seen a girl as pretty as you in a while. Been around ugly men since the start.” He sneered, biting down on his lip. 

“What a shame. Truce?” You breathed out, sitting back against the truck. 

“Call it even if you do me a favor and take off your shirt.” 

“Yeah, not gonna happen.” 

Your walkie talkie buzzed, and you bit down on your lip. “Honey?” 

“Hey, Negan. I’m off I-45. Past the old Baptist church. my trucks out of gas, nobody else made it.” 

“Dammit. Alright. I’ll send someone to pick you up then.” 

“No, Negan. I-I want you.” 

You could practically hear his arrogant smirk and that velvety chuckle from the other end of the walkie, already knowing how his head was nodding in acknowledgment. “Consider it done.” 

“Who's Negan? Y’all got a group?” 

“Mhm. You got booze by any chance?” 

“As a matter of fact, I do. Man’s jacket over there.” 

You walked over to the dead bikers, noticing one of them died through the neck, no head wound. That man over there would get what was coming to him, you were certain of that. You grabbed the flask from his dead body, draining it in one gulp. 

“You thirsty?” He snickered. 

“No. I’m just an alcoholic.” You muttered. 

Time passed, every so often he would jab at you and offer sex, each time you passed with more and more attitude. Until you heard the groan of one of his friends waking up dead. 

“Actually, you know what? Let’s fuck. In the pick up bed, I’ll make it quick.” 

You smirked and grabbed his hand as he chuckled in anticipation, biting your lip as you pulled him along with you. You leaned up, pressing your lips to his ear. “Good thing Negan didn’t get to you before he did.” You murmured. 

“Wha-”

You pushed him back right as the geek was sitting up, watching him get his neck clamped down on by the dead. He screamed in agony, reaching towards you for help. 

“You’ll burn in hell, whore!” He cried out. 

“I’m sure I will.” You smirked, right as Negan drove up. 

He stepped out, looking at the pile of dead bodies before looking at you. “Don’t worry about it, tiger. I got the supplies in the truck bed.” 

Negan grinned, nodding as he stepped over what was going down, the man now dead. You grabbed your knife, quickly putting it in both of their heads, helping him load up the truck. 

“So you fed him to the walker?” Abraham asked softly. 

You nodded slowly, your head still pressed into his chest. You were curled on his lap now, his hand resting on the back of your head, with his other arm wrapped tightly around your waist. 

“You seem to be fond of Negan.” He finally whispered. 

“I thought you knew.” 

“I did, but I never knew why until now. He was in all those stories. He’s your guy. I get it now. He’s been with you from the start, like Rosita and Eugene’s have been with me. They’re both weak, they’re both strong. They’ve got their own damn attributes that make them helpful, and you can’t see that. The same way it took me a minute to see why you even give a rats ass for that douche bag.” 

“You get it now?” 

“Yeah, I get it now. He’s your family.” 

“But you’re my family too.” You looked up at him, cupping his face in your hands. “You always have been, Abe. And I’ve missed you a whole damn lot.” 

“I’ve missed you too, sugar.” 

Your lips tilted into a smile and you nodded slowly, gently kissing his cheek. “I think I’ve got to get going, Abraham. I have to find dad.” 

He nodded, giving you a grin. “Hey, what’re you doing?” He snapped playfully as you turned to the door. 

“What?” You giggled. 

“Didn’t even give me a kiss goodbye?” 

You rolled your eyes, laughing softly as you turned to him, gently pressing your lips to the corner of his. He gently kissed back, watching as you pulled away slowly. 

“You’ve grown up.” He muttered again. 

“Haven the noticed?” Shooting him a little smile, you walked out towards the door once again. 

Making your way to the house you knew was your dads, you walked in. Carl stood holding Judith, and you grinned, knowing that meant your dad was back as wel. 

“(F/n)!” He stayed excitedly, walking over to you and giving you a tight hug. 

“Hey, Carl. Hi Judith.” You gently kissed her forehead, scooping her up into your arms with a big smile. 

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Carl asked you, looking at you slowly. 

You nodded, sitting down beside him at the table. “What’s on your mind?” 

“You.” 

“Me?” You laughed. 

“Well, yeah. You and Negan.”


	8. Chapter Eight- Alliance

“-Carl, our relationship is complicated.” 

“Stop talking to me like I’m still a kid, (F/n).” Carl pleaded, looking at you with a lopsided frown. “Why are you so loyal to Negan? Why don’t you stay here with us? We have supplies and shelter and dad and Abraham and Judith and everyone! This is my family. And we haven’t seen you in so long.” 

“Listen to me.” You sighed out softly and rubbed your temple. “These people? That you’re with? The same way they’re your family, Negan is mine. We met right after this all started, Carl. He and I are just trying to run the Sanctuary.” 

“So he means more to you than us?” 

With a scoff, you shook your head. “That’s not what I said at all, Carl. Stop it. I love you, I love dad, I love Abraham. But I also love Negan.” 

Carl looked at you, a little grin playing on his lips. “What, is he your boyfriend?” He asked as he made kissing noises. 

You laughed softly, gently nudging his knee with the tip of your foot. “Ha ha, very funny.” You grinned.

The door opened, and in walked Michonne and your dad. “(F/n)?” He smiled softly, walking over to you and kissing the top of your head. 

“Hey dad.” You grinned, standing up and giving him a hug. “I was just about to leave, go back to the fort.” 

You saw Michonne eyeing you from the corner and you shot her a peace sign. “Can I go with her, dad?” Carl asked, standing up from the couch. 

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea, Carl.” 

Your wallow buzzed and you sighed, lifting it to your lips. “Hello?” Turning to them, you raised a finger. “I’ll be right back, I gotta call the Sanctuary. Carl can come if he wants dad, we aren’t some slaughterhouse.” You joked dryly, stepping out on the porch. 

“Hey, honey. Ran into a group of those fuckers and the tire blew out on the truck. I made it back to the Sanctuary, we lost a few men.” 

“Who? Negan are you alright? Did you get bit?” 

You waited for the other end to respond. 

“Yeah, I’m fine”. He sighed out, and a breath of relief escaped you at the sound of his voice. “They got Jed and Milo, and fuck honey, I can’t find Simon anywhere.” 

“Simon?” You whispered, your heart beating faster. He had been your best friend since you first met, you couldn’t bare losing him. 

“He ain’t dead though. We were close to an outpost, he could’ve ran there. You gotta spend the night at Alexandria, alright? I’ll be there first thing in the mornin’ to pick you up.” 

You nodded along silently, gently biting your lip. “Alright, Negan.” 

“Hey, honey? One last thing, and I know I don’t say it enough but-” The walk-in cut out and you frowned, gently hitting agaisnt your palm. 

“But what, Negan? Negan, are you there?” 

But the signal was lost. 

You sighed, walking back inside. “Looks like I’m camping here tonight.” 

“We have no more beds.” Michonne stated, and Rick looked at her. 

“Michonne, she can take a room with Carl.” He looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, his head tilting. 

“We don’t know her. She isn’t safe.” She whispered, and your jaw clenched tightly. 

“Don’t know her? That’s my daughter.” He whispered back, his voice faltering. 

“Are you so sure?” 

“You don’t think I’d know her face?” 

“She hasn’t been with you at all, throughout this whole entire journey. She’s been with other people, she’s found other ways to survive. Ways that are different than ours. We’re your family, Rick. Who is she? She governs over people with a man who killed our friend by her side. You weren’t there at the campgrounds that night, she teased Sasha, she shot her, she threatened to do it again-“ 

“Michonne, please.” Rick grabbed her wrist, looking at he the closer. “That’s my daughter.” He repeated. 

“She’s-she’s right.” You whispered, taking a step back. “I’m not seventeen anymore. I’m not a little girl. I-she’s-...” Trailing off, you looked down. “Michonne is right. I killed one of your friends after being away from you for years. I don’t know who you guys are. You don’t know who I am.” 

“You’re (F/n) Grimes, okay?” Rick took a step towards you, reaching his hand out. “And you’ll always, always be my daughter. We have all the time in the world to catch up now. Maybe not under the circumstances we would’ve liked...but we can still talk, nonetheless. You’ll always be a Grimes.”

Looking up at him, you nodded slowly, wrapping your arms tightly around your father, who gratefully hugged you back. “Now sit down. I’ve learned how to make a great cup of tea. You, me, Carl an Michonne are gonna talk. Make things right.”

Nodding, you sat down on an arm chair, Michonne stiffly sitting across from you. “Is than your weapon of choice?” You asked softly, pointing to her katana strapped across her back. The woman nodded silently.

“I used a whip for a long time. Found it at a museum i had broken into. Even covered myself in geek guts to get in to it. Reminded me of Indiana Jones, I used to love those movies.”

Carl laughed, looking at you. “I remember that! You even dressed up like him for halloween one year!”

You grinned, nodding. “Yeah, he was my hero, my first crush I guess. I used that whip until Negan burned it. He got angry at me and burned the whip.” You rephrased yourself, huffing out.

“He sounds like an asshole.” Michonne spoke slowly, looking up at you behind hooded eyelids.

“Sure he is. But I am too.” You defended him, shrugging. “How else do you survive this mess? You’re either mean or you’re not. The kind ones don’t survive.”

“You used to be nice.” Your dad reminded you as he handed you a cup of earl gray.

“Sure I did. And you used to be a cop.”

“And I used to be annoying!” Carl joked.

“Who says you aren’t anymore?” You jabbed, giggling softly as you took a sip of the drink. “All I’m saying is we can’t be like the old us anymore. That’s not how you survive. Before all this? Negan was a teacher. Now, teacher with that mouth on him? No way, he uses the word fuck like it’s a comma.”

“This Negan...if we work with him, if we do what he says...”

“Then all goes to plan, dad. I promise. I’ll have a talk with him tomorrow, try and get him to loosen up on you all. Maybe even the Hilltop since you do business with them.”

“And what about the Kingdom?” He asked.

“We barely take from them. Ezekiel made a deal with Negan, he would give half if they kept their deal quiet. Negan was in a good mood that day so he settled for one third of their things. He isn’t half bad.”

“He killed Sasha.” Michonne snapped, and you let out a sigh.

“No, Michonne. I killed Sasha. He wanted Rosita gone, I decided against it. Now thinking back on it, I should’ve chose Rosita. She can’t keep her hands off Abraham.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes and bringing your knees up.

“So you’ve still got a thing for Abe?” Your dad snickered, looking at you with a gleam if amusement sparkling in his eyes.

You scoffed, gently biting your lip. “It’s that obvious?”

“Always has been.” Carl agreed, smirking smugly.

“Okay, okay. Enough about him.”

“You and Negan aren’t together, then?” Carl asked.

A shrug is all that escaped you for a few silent moments, before you spoke. “I don’t know what we are, honestly. Negan has wives, plural. Five of them, but he’s working on getting six. I’ve never believed in that stuff, call me old fashioned I guess, but even in the apocalypse piligamy isn’t my favorite method of trying to find love. Before he became the it-man though, we did mess around and stuff. Thought I loved him, too. Then the Sanctuary got bigger and bigger and more women were filing in, and he took interest in them.” You shrugged once more, looking down at your hands. “Guess that’s how it works. He found ladies prettier and skinnier than me, so he stalked them like prey.”

“You’re pretty.” Michonne looked at you, and her lips tilted up momentarily in what appeared to be the hint of a smile.

“So are you.” You whispered, laying back on the sofa. “But hey, it’s whatever now. A steady relationship in all this? Forget about it.” You dismissed the subject with the wave of your hand, tracing shapes on the ceiling.

“It can happen.” Your dad spoke, his eyes shifting to Michonne. 

A little smile tugged your lips. “How long has it been? Since mom, you know...” 

“Three years.” Carl whispered, nodding a bit. 

You nodded with him, looking down at your hands as silence took over the room. “Oh, do you guys need anything here? The Sanctuary has a lot of stuff, and I have full reign over it all.” 

“Negan took all of our guns.” Michonne looked at you, jaw clenching. 

“What? When?! I told him not to!” 

“He didn’t listen.” Carl scoffed. 

“When did he do this? I thought I’ve been with him everytime he’s come-“ 

“No. He came a week or so ago, just with a few men. He nearly killed my stock woman, Olivia.” 

“I am so sorry, dad. If I knew...” 

“We know, (F/n). It’s okay.” He smiled, gently patting your knee before nodding goodnight and going up to his room. Michonne soon followed. 

“You know...I think this situation is gonna get messy if you keep teetering between Negan and us.” Carl spoke, frowning your way. 

“I know.” You breathed out quietly, sipping at the tea once more. 

“You need to figure out a way to leave him alone, or maybe find a way to get away from him-” 

“Carl, you don’t know our arrangement. I’ve explained this before. You wouldn’t just run from Michonne, would you?” He shook his head no. “Exactly. Me being with Negan is good. I’m keeping you all safe.” You explained softly, giving him a gentle smile. “And that’s a good thing, I promise. Now go to bed, silly. You need sleep.” 

He smiled, gently judging your shoulder before walking away and up the stairs. When you were sure they all were asleep, you grabbed your things, walking down the street to Abraham’s house. Knocking, you watched him open it, towel clutched around his waist, shower water dripping down his chest. Your heart was beating faster now, your throat tightening. 

“Not interrupting anything, am I?” You managed to get out, a forced giggle escaping you. 

“Course not, sugar. Just got out of the shower. Come on in, make yourself at home.” He tilted his head towards the door way, and you stepped in slowly. “What can I do ‘ya for?” 

“I just wanted to, um, visit you?” You sat down at the counter, biting down on your lip gently. “I’m sorry for arguing with you. I didn’t mean to act that way.” 

Abraham waved his hand, giving you a little grin. “It’s nothing. Let me change really-“ 

“You don’t have to. I was, um...I was thinking. Maybe I could make it up to you?” You furrowed your eyebrows and stood up, taking a few steps towards him. 

A smirk played across his lips, his eyes watching you closely as your finger dragged down his chest gently, tilting your head to look at him. “Do you really think that’s a good idea, sugar?” 

Slowly, you nodded. “Best one I can come up with. Just to make it up to you, for being such a bitch.” 

Pressing your lips to his jaw, Abraham groaned softly and pushed you away. His whole demeanor changed. “(F/n)...that’s not a good idea. I’ve known you since you were little-“ 

“But I’m not little anymore, Abraham. I’m older, I know what I want.” 

“What do you want?” He asked slowly, his eyebrow raising. 

“You.”


	9. Chapter Nine- Accidents Do Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter has not been edited yet :) In fact, only the first 3 or 4 have. I will go back and revisit them, but for now I’m working on gathering my thoughts and ideas for this fic. Sorry if it’s seemed rushed or out of order. I’m trying to get to the exciting stuff quickly, while showing internal struggles, character development, arguing/stuff like that and what not.

You didn’t really know how it started. You can’t remember what exactly you said to make him lose control. But, there he was, losing control. His self control, mainly. 

Abraham was on top of you, grasping the headboard, slamming into you, grunting and groaning and moving with godlike thrusts. 

Your nails were dragging down his back, legs wrapping around his waist. 

“Abraham!” You cried out, head thrown back as husband lips marks your neck. He marked you. He marked you as his. “Oh, right there.” You begged, head throwing back agaisnt the pillows once more in ecstasy. 

“Turn around.” He groaned, grabbing your hips and placing you on hands in knees, taking you roughly from behind. The stamina of this man was all you were thinking of. He pulled himself out of you, pushing all the way back in with one heated thrust. 

“Cum inside me.” You begged, grasping the sheets as he pounded you. “Please, Abraham. Make me yours. Fuck, do it!” You screamed. 

And now, here you were. Securely under the covers, the snoring man dozed off beside you, his arm draped across your body. For years this is what you had wanted, for years this is what you craved. A night unlike any other, and Abraham gave it to you. Yet, for some reason, you felt empty. The sun was now creeping over Alexandria, and kissing his forehead, you slipped into last nights clothes after taking a much needed shower and escaped the walls that surrounded you, seeing Negans truck pulling up. 

“Let’s get out of here.” You breathed out, smiling a bit at the man beside you. 

“You don’t want to do any inventory checks? Cause some trouble?” Negan grinned your way, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Not today, Negan. I just wanna rest.” 

“Whatever you say, honey. You call the shots, not me.” 

You smiled, gently setting your hand on his thigh as you put your head on his lap, his fingers gently burying themselves in your hair. “Last night-are you okay, now? Have you found Simon?” 

“He was just at an outpost, all is doin’ damn well, darlin’. No need to worry. You just rest now.” 

“Oh, and Negan?” 

“Hmm?” 

“What did you wanna tell me? Before the walkie cut out?” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“And I’m not talkin’ about some school boy, let me get in your pants and fuck your brains out I love you. I mean real love. Adult love. The kind you feel when you meet someone just like you.” 

“What do you mean, Negan?” You sat up, looking st him. “Like...you wanna be with me, love?” 

“Like I wanna be with you, love.” He clarifies, a smirk stretching across his lips. “And I’ll give up all my smokin’ hot wives if it means I can.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and a little scoff escaped your lips. “Negan...I..-“ You didn’t even know what to say, so you made a joke out of it. “I’ll believe it when I see it, baby.” 

“No, seriously. They mean nothing. Compared to you, at least.” 

“But they’re so much better than me. Theyre skinnier and hotter and, Negan, they give you everything you need in bed. They’re kept prim and proper but me? Nah, not me. I’m always out fighting and killing and shit. You don’t want that.” 

“I’ve known you since the very beginning, and I know how I feel.” You saw his jaw clenching, and you knew he was trying his hardest not to get upset. “You’re gorgeous as hell, you’re clever, strong, a damn good fighter if I’ve ever fuckin’ seen one. Honey, without you? This life we have? This fuckin’ Sanctuary we’ve built? It would be nothing.” His hand drifted to rest higher on your thigh, and you looked at him. “Pull over.” “Wha-“ “Just pull over, Negan.” He pulled to the side, locking the windows as he looked at you, watching as you climbed over the center console and slid onto his lap. “You’ve never really opened up to me, like that.” You murmured, your lips pressed down his jawline. “I liked it.” “Oh yeah? You should tell me what else you like.” He snickered quietly, his hand moving to unzip your jeans. You kicked them off, panties being pushed to the side as you grinded against his lap, his bulge pressing closer against you. “Years of sleeping with me, I thought you’d already know.” You kissed his ear, fumbling with his pants zipper. Abraham was far out of your mind, at that moment. Your session with Negan was far out of your mind, as well. Until you woke up one morning, hair pulled back as you leaned over a toilet, puke steering up your throat. For moments, you stumbled around the bathroom, blinded by tears eyes, until at the very back of the shelf you saw a pregnancy test and quickly out it to use. Grabbing for it and sitting down, you waited for minutes, pacing nervously. “+” was delicately placed to the side, and your whole body felt numbs. “No, no, no.” You breathed, grasping your chest tightly as you leaned against the wall. “This isn’t right. I-I’m not supposed to have kids.” And the worst thing about it all? You didn’t know if it was Abraham’s or Negans, and right now you were stuck in a very dirty, confusing predicament. Your heart yearned for both do them, your mind buzzed with thoughts of the two men. You couldn’t just decide. “Whore.” Your brain called you, moment after moment, your heart seizing and beating faster with every step you took out of the bathroom. Negan sat at his desk, flipping through a magazine he hadn’t probably read a million times. “Sleep alright, honey?” “Yeah, I did.” He glanced up, chuckling a bit. “You don’t look to wrk. You sure you’re okay?” “I’m fine. I just have to make a trip to Alexandria, I gotta talk to my dad.” You explained, and Negan bit his cheek. “You know, your dads kind of a prick.” “And I’m kind of a bitch. Stay in your fucking lane and let me handle him, Negan.” “Don’t talk to me like that-“ “How about you go screw one of your wives so you can get off my dick, Negan?’ Just leave me the fuck alone!” You shouted, voice cracking as tears filled your eyes. Your throat suddenly became too tight, and in a blind rage you grabbed a sweater and a gun, rushing out to a car and driving for Alexandria. You let yourself in, the gate slightly ajar as Eugene stood talking to someone trying to get in. It was Rosita. “Come to sleep with my man, Puta?” She taunted, eyebrows furrowing and eyes narrowing. “Not in the fucking mood today, Salope.” You snarled, knowing the french word would go straight over her head. Rushing to your dads house you knocked on the door, tears running down your cheeks. Carl opened the door and you fell in his arms, hugging him tightly. He was only a couple inches taller than you, but it felt like the most protective hug in the world at the moment. “Hey, hey. What’s the matter?” He asked softly. Wiping off your cheeks, you sat down, hiccuping nsf shivering and pulling a blanket around you. “I-I wish mom were alive right now.” You whispered out, nuzzling your face into the sofa mattress. “Are you hurt? What’s going on, (F/n)? Is everything alright?” Carl asked again, setting a hand on your arm as he crouched beside you. “I’m pregnant, Carl!” You cried out, sniffling and sobbing and shaking with a healthy mixture of fear, nerves, and complete sadness. “What?!” He asked in a hushed yell. “Who’s is it? Negan’s?” “I don’t know.” “What do you mean you don’t know?! You have to know!” “Carl, I was-ugh! I slept with Abraham, alright?! Don’t fucking tell dad though, he’ll lose his mind. And then the next day I slept with Negan.” “So you’re just sleeping around now?” Carl scolded, his eyes squinting. “No! It was a one time thing I-I was trying to figure out how I felt, okay?” “And who do you love more? Huh? Ever thought about that?!” “All the time, Carl! Don’t be an idiot. Abraham was the first man I ever loved, Negan was the first man I ever...you know. Each of them are special to me for different reasons.” “Only difference is one isn’t a sadistic monster.” He scoffed. “You don’t know anything about Negan!” You snarled, standing up angrily. “Make up your mind, god dammit!” Carl snapped, and you clenched your jaw tightly ad he stood to face you. “In nine months you’re gonna figure out who’s it is, (F/n). And I wouldn’t want to be you if Negan figures out it isn’t his. Do you want to see Abraham bludgeoned to death? No? Yeah, that’s what I thought, me fucking either. Just think about it, alright? You’re going to have to make up your mind eventually.” And, yet, you never really could decide.


	10. Chapter Ten

Outside the house, there was commotion. 

Screaming, begging, a gunshot. 

“Time to shut this shit down!” You heard Negan yell, gulping slowly as you glanced at Carl. 

“Stay in here with Judith. I’m gonna take care of this.” 

Reluctantly, he nodded, and you grabbed your gun, walking out the door. As you walked, you shoved it into your belt, humming out softly as you looked around, seeing a crowded group near the end of the street. 

You saw Abraham, that flash of ginger hair you knew so well, sitting high on his knees with a clenched jaw and angrily furrowed eyebrows. A look of pure defiance that you knew quite well. You saw Negan raising the bat, his hands high above his head. Adrenaline fueled you, rushing through your body. 

Your steps turned into sprints, and you jumped in front of Abraham, head tilted up, eyes narrowing into Negans. “No!” You screamed, Negan bringing down the bat. It barely missed the side of your head, grazing past your skin as you hissed in pain. 

Fire began to rip through his eyes, a look of pure and utter anger trailing down Negan’s face. “I could’ve killed you! You piece of shit, I could have fucking killed you!” He roared, throwing Lucille to the ground and dragging you up by the collar. “You fucking bitch.” He growled lowly, and behind you, Abraham tried to get up, but a fun pressed to the back of his head by Arat was enough to keep him to his knees. 

“We’ve been killin’ since this shit broke out, honey.” Negans voice was still angry, but a chilling calm laced throughout. “And we’re not gonna stop just because of some god damn family, alright? They weren’t fuckin’ out there, eatin’ shit and trying to survive for a year, we’re they? They didn’t save your fuckin’ life, they didn’t go to hell and back to love you.” Negan growled, jaw clenching.

“Negan.” Your eyes were pricking with tears, and you gently picked up Lucille, cupping his face in your hands. “Negan I’m pregnant.”

His face dropped, lips tightening together. “What?”

“What?” Abraham scoffed from behind him, leaning towards you to see you better.

“I’m pregnant. And I need to talk to you both about it. Over dinner. And I can’t fucking talk to you both over dinner if you,” you glared at Negan, “don’t stuff your fucking dick back in your pants and not fight the urge to kill my closest friend. So come the fuck on, we’re taking a trip to the ducking Sanctuary.”

You had them both by the ear, at this point.

Trying with dinner, you made spaghetti and some of Eugenia’s tea, but you were really only making dinner to try and not have a mental breakdown over the whole ordeal.

When you plated and set the table, Negan was staring at Abraham like a hunter looking at its next kill. He was mapping out where and how to kill him, slowly or easy- you couldn’t decide. “Stop it, Negan.” You gently set your hand on his, turning to see that smirk on Abraham he wore. That arrogant, cool smirk, acting as if nothing ever got to him.

“Now both of you. Tell me what just got into you.”

“Abe the babe over there tried to fuckin’ attack me. He tried to rip me a new fuckin’ asshole, didn’t you Abey?”

“I tried to kill you. My bad that I missed.” He leaned over the table, eyes narrowing. “But you’re about to swim up shit creek with a mouth wide open.”

“No, you’re not about to, Negan.” Your voice remained calm, and you gave Abraham a dirty look. “I need you. Both of you.”

“Baby, is know you need me. You showed me just how bad you needed me-“

“Negan shut the hell up! Please? I love you both, more than anything. But neither of you like sharing, and I don’t have the moral compass to be in one of those relationships, and right now I’m pregnant and have no idea who the father is.”

“What?” They both snapped in unison.

“I slept with you, Abraham. To make up all the lost time, to apologize for being away so long. It was an act of...apology, almost. It was me wanting to care for you the best way I knew how. And you, Negan? I slept with you to revisit the past, to feel the way I did years ago. All in the span of a day. I didn’t mean to, it didn’t cross my mind. And I don’t want to lose either of you. And you can’t say I’m cheating, because neither of you had the fucking balls to ask me out.”

“(F/n)...” Negan trailed off, his hand hovering over yours. “(F/n), baby, you’re mine. Remember?”

Tears welled up in your eyes and you looked at him, setting your fork down. “Yeah, me along with five other women. Who’s next, Negan?” Your voice cracked and you looked down, quickly wiping away your tears with the napkin.

“You see, sugar,” Abraham scooped your hand up with him, brushing his fingers against your knuckles. “Your dad would kill me. I want to be with you, have ever since the last time I saw you. And I know a part of you does to, because you still wear my necklace.”

You nodded, looking at him. “Please, just get along. I’m-I’m begging you both. You two are the two most important men in my life, I need you both with me, all throughout whatever shitty, hell fire journey is about to begin. Do you think the tension can end? If only for a moment?” Negan nodded, giving you a little smile. Abraham flashed his award winning grin, holding his thumbs up. “Now lets finish dinner and head back to Alexandria.”

But, heading back was hard when you met a herd of about fifty.

“Get to the top, grab the rifle and start zonin’ in on ‘em!” Abraham commanded, tossing you the gun before all three of you followed up to the top, the walkers clawing at the freight truck.

Negan began to shoot them down, Abraham zeroing in on the ones near the back. You just shot down whichever ones you could take. “We have to get our, it’s attracting more!” You called over the fire, and Abraham nodded.

“I’ll clear the way.” He grinned, grabbing a knife and dropping to the pavement, giving them fire.

You watched his back, shooting down he ones near him before he disappeared from your sight momentarily, the truck engine rumbling. “H-Hold on!” He shouted above the roar, and you and Negan both grabbed ahold of the sides, the truck zooming off with a start. Soon the Biters were out of sight and mind, and you gently hit the front to stop the car.

“Abe, are you alright?” You asked softly, hopping down before you gasped softly. “Abraham!” Tears pricked at your eyes, his hand was a bloody mess, a bite mark grazed across his palm.

Negan looked at you, frowning as you grabbed him. “Abraham I have to amputate it.”

“Don’t you think this would be better? Save you the pain of having to-”

“Don’t talk that way, please. Please Abraham.”

“What goods a dick like me with no left hand?”

“Still got your right one, buddy.” Negan snickered, shooting him a wink. “Come on, you see how fuckin’ messy she is about it? Do it, Abe. For our girl.”

With a sniffle you looked up at him with bambi eyes, lips parting as tears trailed down your face. “Fine. But it’s gonna hurt like a sonna’ bitch.” He growled, and you hurried to the back, grabbing gauze and an axe, before signaling for Negan to hold him down.

One swing and the axe cut off from below the elbow and down, Abraham letting out a loud scream of agonizing pain. He passed out on the way from loss of blood, and when you arrived at Alexandria, you put your faith in their doctor.

The room was dark, cold, silent with tension as you slid into some pajamas, looking at Negan. You were in your dads house, both of them asleep already with Carl over at a friends.

“Look-I’m sorry.” Negan whispered, extending a hand towards you.

“For what?”

“The...just...everything. I mean it. I’m sorry for almost killing Abraham, I’m sorry for getting all those women except for you. I’m just sorry, okay? For everything that’s happened these past four, five years.”

“Negan, it’s okay. Things could be different, but they’re not.”

“And that baby? I’m sorry for it, too.”

“I dunno who’s it is, remember that Negan.” You groaned, giving him a look. “But no matter what, you’re going to be a great dad.”

“You’ve made your choice then? You picked me?” negan smirked, and you gently rested your hands against his cheeks.

“I don’t know yet. But if Abraham can’t pull through...then it’s just me and you again.”

Negan frowned, sympathizing with you. “He’s gonna.”

“I hope he does.”

“Abraham is a fuckin’ fighter. And a mighy fine good one at that. I wouldn’t worry to much, honey. Now let’s get you to bed, it’s been a long day.”

Negan led you over to the bed, crawling in with you after tucking you in.

“Hey, Negan?

“Yes, doll?”

“If you just left your wives...you could have me.” You whispered tiredly, yanwing as you nuzzled your face agaisnt him. “And I’d treat you better than they did. I’d give you genuine love, real affection. Not just some facade in attempt to save my own life.” Negan frowned, letting out a soft sigh as he brought you closer and tighter.

“I know, baby girl. I know.”


	11. Chapter Eleven

Six Months Later 

“How’s it doing?” 

Michonne places a cup of tea in front of you, and you smiled softly, shrugging a bit. “It’s-it’s good, yeah. Been kicking a lot lately.” 

“That’s good news.” She agreed, nodding as she sat across from you. 

The six months had been full of drama. A war ensued. Your Abraham was gone. Negan was locked in a cellar. It seemed as though life was going downhill for you, and with only a few months left in your pregnancy- you needed someone. Simon was running the Sanctuary now, Carl spent a lot of time with Enid, and your father was busy running Alexandria, helping Maggie with the Hilltop, and making sure everything was going smooth at the Kingdom. 

They were rebuilding a world now, a world suitable for your baby. 

Guilt plagued you every day. Guilt you had never felt before. 

“I’m as bad as him.” You whispered, glancing at Michonne. 

“Don’t say that-”

“No. I should be in that cell. You don’t understand, Michonne. I’ve killed more than Negan. I’ve destroyed people, murdered people. I’ve ruined lives far more than he has. I was a horrible person, and sometimes I still am. I don’t know who’s fucking baby this is because I slept with two men in the period of twenty four hours, and I felt no guilt until after I got pregnant. You don’t fucking understand, Mich. The Sanctuary started because of me, I’m the reason Alexandria and the Kingdom and the Hilltop had to go through all that shit. I started this and I should be the end of it. Dad should have slit my throat, Not Negan’s.” 

“Stop it, (F/n), you’re family.” She spoke sternly, her voice never wavering. 

You let out a breathy laugh, tears filling your eyes. “So? It doesn’t excuse what I’ve done. Please...let him go.” 

“Negan doesn’t have a moral compass! Don’t you understand that? He doesn’t feel remorse the way you do!” She stood up, jaw clenching. 

“Yes he does!” You cried out, defending the one constant in your life. 

“You let this lust blind you.” 

“It isn’t lust, it’s love. I’ve known him for six year-”

“And you knew Abraham for twenty two.” 

“I had to...You know that.” You whispered, bottom lip shaking. “I had to stop him. He was going to kill Negan. And I hate myself every day for that.” 

Michonne looked down, her hands shaking as tears brimmed her eyes. “I know. I just...I’m still angry.” 

You nodded slowly. “Me too.” 

“Do you know for sure? If Abraham is...”

“No. But he hasn’t come back yet.” 

Michonne nodded, frowning softly as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. “Michonne, can I at least see him?” You broke the silence, and she finally let out a sigh, handing over the key, nodding once more. 

You slid into slippers and wrapped a bathrobe around your pajamas, sneaking out in the early morning darkness. The cell was clean and tidy, Negan against the bed you made them out in there, because no cot would be proper enough. He was breathing slowly and softly, and you walked into the cell, locking it behind you. You slid into the bed with him, arms wrapping around him from behind. 

“How’s it doing?” He hummed out, and your fingers gently cupped his face in your palm best you could. 

Negan turned to face you, forehead pressing agaisnt yours. “I love you, Negan.” 

He nodded slowly, eyes still closed as a smile spread across his features. “I love you too, (F/n).” 

“Look.” You slowly lifted your shirt up, gently setting his hand agaisnt your stomach as the baby kicked, a little dent pressing into your skin. 

A deep chuckle left his lips, and he leaned down to press a kiss against your cheek. “Little fighter in there. Gonna be as great as it’s fuckin’ momma.” 

You smiled a bit, nodding. But your mind was in a different place.

The shouting. The walkers. They never left your mind.

That night plagued your thoughts.

“Let me at him!” Abraham shouted, lunging for Negan.

The night was darkening, the fire in the forest clearing roaring high. You, Negan, Abraham, Michonne and Rick were on your way back to the Sanctuary for some business, when your car broke down.

That’s when it started. Because Negan couldn’t keep his God damn mouth shut.

Michonne and Rick went to get fire wood, and that wasn’t a good equation. You were only two months pregnant by then, it was a month before the all out war.

“I fucked her better and you know it, Big Red.” Negan growled to him from across the fire, and that’s when Abraham went wild.

“She isn’t some fuckin’ prize to be won, shit face.” He had growled, lunging towards Negan.

“Never said that!” Negan shouted with an antagonizing smile, watching as Abraham jumped him. His hands- his real one, and the prosthetic one you all had found, wrapped around Negan's neck. You watched helplessly, trying to find your gun in the midst of the darkening chaos.

Abraham let out a grunt as Negan kneed him in the groin, kicking him as he stood up and went to grab Lucille. “No!” You screamed, kicking it out of his hands.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you! I’m gonna rip you apart, pretty boy!” He screamed, going for Negan.

“Take a walk, Abraham!” You screamed, and Negan clenched his jaw.

Walkers were now surrounding you, making their way towards you. “Shut up and help me take them out.” You ordered angrily, jaw clenching tightly.

Abraham shot Negan the dirtiest look he could muster, and ran off towards the woods when Negan did, to take out the walkers. You knew exactly what he was doing, too.

“Fuck!” You hissed, running after them after taking down a few walkers, but some stragglers limped after you.

“Abraham stopped!” You cried out, trying to rip him off of Negan. Abraham had a gun pressed to his temple, and when he pressed the trigger, it was deemed empty. You sighed out in relief, Abraham’s confusion giving Negan the chance to push him off. Walkers now surrounded you. “Abraham! Leave!” You screamed, and he looked at you with blood thirsty eyes before he realized who you were, slowly shaking his head.

“I-I didn’t-um...” He cleared his throat, and you groaned Negans wrist, running away from Abraham as he became surrounded by walkers.

“Honey?” 

“What?” 

“Honey?” 

When you opened your eyes you were back in the cell, Negan's eyes peering into your own. “I think you have to get back now.” He pointed to the window of the cell, where Rick was calling your name. 

“Doctors appointment. Ultrasound.” He explained, and you bit your lip. 

“Negan...can he come? Please dad..” 

Rick groaned, looking down. “(F/n)...” 

“Dad please.” You begged quietly. 

“Just this once. But if he tries anything-”

“He won’t, dad. I promise.” 

You glanced at Negan, smiling softly as you grabbed his hand. “We let a Doctor in, he had some medical supplies. Do you wanna find out the gender with me, Negan?” 

He smiled softly, nodding slowly. 

When you got to the house the doctors equipment was set up in, you looked st your dad. “Can I do this alone, dad? Please?” 

He gave you a hesitant look before walking out of the room, leaving you alone with Negan and the doctor. 

You rolled your shirt up as the Doctor grabbed the little bottle of gel, spreading it across your stomach as you played with Negan’s hand. “I missed you.” You whispered, looking at Negan. “The nights alone...I get nightmares without you.” 

A frown twitched agaisnt his mouth, and he furrowed his eyebrows together. “We’re going to be just fine, (F/n). Once this baby comes out, I’ll convince Rick to let me out some fucking how.”

“Would you like to know the gender?” The man asked, glancing at you two. You both nodded, and you sat up some more before smiling at him a bit.

“It’s gonna be a girl! Congratulations! Everything is looking good and healthy. I’ll leave you two alone now to celebrate.”

Negan let a gleeful smile spread across his face, and he leaned down to let his lips meet yours. “I can’t believe it.” You breathed our soflty. “Me and you, Negan, we’re going to have our own family now.” Tears flooded your eyes, and you saw Negan smile wider than he ever had before, his own eyes becoming glossy.

“You know...after everything happened, and the world went to fucking shit...I remember thinking to myself how easy it would be to just end it all, to just escape from this shit hole. And that was the day I met you. Seeing you, so young and so fucking beautiful and full of this big personality and life...it ignited something inside of me and almost seven fucking years later it hasn’t been put out.” Negan reached towards you, his hand gently pressing agaisnt your cheek. “We started as a one night stand, you remember?”

A giggle escaped you, and neither of you saw Rick leaning agaisnt the door frame. “Mmm, yeah.” You hummed out, your eyes focused on searching his own.

“I was in awe. I didn’t think I could ever love again after Lucille, but lo and fucking behold. I discovered someone who loved me so much better, someone who took such good care of me even though I’m a fucking jackass sometimes. You’re everything to me. All those bad things I did? I did them because I thought I was protecting you. But damn girl, you sure can protect yourself.”

You giggled softly, humming gently as you pressed your lips to his in a deep kiss. “Why are you telling me this, Negan?”

“I’ve been hiding it for a while, didn’t know if things could ever go back to fucking normal. But seeing our baby girl on that screen...everything just felt so fucking right. You know? Everything felt like it wasn’t coming in place.”

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a little ring. It’s rose gold band showed a sparkling cut diamond, something you would never have been able to afford when the world was regular. “Negan!” You gasped softly, hand simmediately closing around your mouth.

“Sooo...is that a yes?” He asked hopefully, eyes lighting up.

“Of course it is! Of course!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms around him.

“Negan.” Rick’s voice filled the air, and you slowly turned to him as Negan was sliding the ring on you finger.

“How much did you here, Ricky?” He asked with narrowed eyes.

“I heard all of it.”

“And?” You pushed.

“And it looks like there’s a lot that has to be down around here, don’t you think? I mean a wedding sure is a lot of work to plan...”


End file.
